When did new life stop being a miracle? Our advances in science should make us appreciate life even more, instead of enabling us to find ways to be rid of it. Sarah was so traumatized by the doctor's and nurses' reactions to her condition that she was unwilling to tell even her closest friends about the quads for awhile. She will never forget those first few visits to the doctor. What should have been a celebration was turned ugly by unthinkable choices and statistics. Every time she went in, she felt pressured to abort or selectively reduce her unborn babies. More than ever, I am convinced of the intense spiritual battle going on.
We have always been pro-life, so in a way, it is only right that we should experience the battle firsthand. While my husband was the most active, I've fought for life, too, although mostly behind the scenes (stuffing envelopes). My son and I did march on Washington before he was even a year old. After all of these years, I finally understand more of what people go through when they are faced with difficult pregnancies.
Humanly speaking, the risks for Sarah and her quads are many. Spiritually speaking, God is bigger than any medical scenario a set of quadruplets can produce. Ergo, my mind is in constant overdrive. I swing back and forth all day long: joy and sadness, fear and faith, hope and despair. It is exhausting. Then there are all of the decisions and the plans to make. I try not to focus on the negative, but Sarah is not feeling better yet. As a matter of fact, she seems to be feeling worse. She is too sick to do anything, so we are trying to make plans for her. But I am not sure what plans to make! I keep praying for guidance and try to take one day at a time. On the other hand, every day brings her delivery date closer. (Sorry, I am swinging again.)
Last night, I came home and found a message waiting for me. One of Sarah's friends wrote, " I wanted to tell you, ever since I have started praying for Sarah and all of you, I have always felt these babies are going to be just fine!! I honestly promise, what I was always thinking was, how is God going to use this miracle? It is nothing short of a miracle, and I can't wait to see what their lives hold."
Then, one of the parents from Tom's basketball team emailed me to let me know she is praying. She said, "Christ died and rose so that we could come boldly before our God to make our petitions known. And He is faithful to hear." She went on to say,
"Remember what the Word says, 'Be still, and know that I am God.'"
Just when I feel as if I am losing my mind, I remember all of the people who are praying. Then I remember that God is bigger than a set of quads--yes, He is. The best way I to explain the relief that washes over me is to compare it to one giant exhale. I must be holding my breath.