Quadruple Blessings

ONE YEAR OLD TODAY/Hard to Let Go

2011-08-25T23:22:00.001-04:00

The Quads are ONE YEAR OLD!

It is hard to believe that it has been one year since we welcomed these four little miracles into the world.

Our busy season is in full swing, so we are working round the clock. We have to make a living while the sun shines! I have been so t-i-r-e-d and busy the last few months that I have not blogged about all of the changes. I have started drinking coffee, which helps immensely. Diet Coke doesn’t make a dent with multiples.

Callie is feeding Landon and multi-tasking already. (Get used to it, honey.)

Quads learn to sleep anytime, anywhere.

We are brave enough to take them out to eat occasionally. It takes muscles to load--unload--load--unload again. We get a lot of looks, comments and questions when we go out. Many people ask how we can tell the babies apart. They each look different to us, although pictures are sometimes hard to identify.

They are getting heavy! Here are their weights: Landon (17 lbs.), Jackson (15 lbs.), Isabella (16 lbs.) and Samantha (14 lbs.).

Daddy spends a lot of time in the pen.

Michelle in the pen

Tom in the pen (We put the quads in to keep him company.)

Tom being cute

Samantha wants to wear glasses like her papaw.

Callie entertains the babies. Samantha prefers to be in the pen by herself.

Samantha LOVES Elmo. She gets so excited when we say his name or sing his song.

Isabella is the sweetest baby. She is active and very smart. This child LOVES to eat. She pats me on the arm when she wants another bite. She climbs the gate and tries to get out. She reminds me so much of Sarah as a baby because she is so sensitive. If we tell her no, she cries like her heart is broken. Izzy B holds her face when she is upset. She holds her own bottle and puts herself to sleep.

Jackson is trying to keep the grass from touching his feet. He is constant motion and personality packed. This child has charisma and charm. He is a momma’s boy. Jackson’s voice is husky and cute. He raises one eyebrow when we call him and he’s busy, something he gets from my side of the family. Not everyone can do that, you know. Jackson is the first to do everything, although Isabella is right behind him. He is very easy-going and sweet.

Jackson in his ball cap

Samantha has one, too.

Who needs strollers?

My niece Bethany takes the best pictures! This one is of Callie and Cassondra--best friend cousins.

Toys are always everywhere.

Curly hair like Daddy

Isabella loves Play Doh in a ziplock bag, supervised, of course. :)

Samantha is catching up quickly now. It is amazing to see her progress after being sick for so long. She is pulling up and crawling. She eats very well. Sammy Jo is very opinionated and strong-willed. She has a definite temper, probably the worst of the four. Okay, I will admit it. She is slightly spoiled. She jabbers all the time. She reminds me of Sarah, too, because she is content to sit by herself with toys as long as she can see me.

Landon has a sweet personality. He cackles at Callie and the rest of the babies. He is crawling and pulling up. He has developed a little bit of a temper, but it takes a lot for him to get upset. His clock runs precisely, so we have to feed him on schedule to keep the peace.

Jackson can hold his own bottle, when he wants to.

Jackson is crawling and walking along the couch while holding on. This past week he started taking 2 or 3 steps at a time. It is so funny to watch such a little baby walk! How did I know that he would be the first?

Jackson's double-hernia surgery went well, although he tried his best not to cough for a while. He spends most of his time crying to get on the other side of the gate, no matter what gate it is. He is persistent. The doctor said we are going to have to let him cry, because Jackson wants all of the things he cannot have. That is easier said than done!

Devon has plenty of room in her car for quadruplets, as long as the trunk is open.

Tom always wins the games at Kings Island.

She only stops talking when she is asleep.

Mamaw Stella

Tony, Eric, Landon and Callie building a house with Lincoln Logs, a family tradition when visiting Mamaw Stella and Papaw Bob.

The Lincoln Log Mansion

Samantha, Landon, Callie and Jackson in the baby pool with Devon. Landon likes the water the most--always has.

Sammy Jo always wakes up happy.

Landon and Samantha taking a nap

Naptime for Landon, Jackson and Isabella

Samantha is part of the parenting team (still in quad denial), so she prefers to nap wherever an adult is working, even if it means sitting up.

Let's go!

Samantha and her siblings have several teeth. Four babies teething can be dangerous. It hurts when they bite!

My clever mother and her Porta Beds in the ticket booth. The babies love to be on the go.

Staying warm after the rain

Feeding time! Jackson, Samantha and Isabella LOVE to eat. Landon is less enthusiastic, but we are learning that he prefers strong flavors, like pepper, salsa, lemon, sugar, spices, etc.
Callie likes to help, even when she is tired.
Callie turned four. Tom gave her chickens for her birthday.

One of the Roosters--We have FOUR. Fortunately, they are a docile breed and get along so far.

Our little farm girl

We have eggs!

Callie gathering her eggs

The first egg we cracked had twin yolks. Go figure.

Devon, Samantha and the Chickens

Isabella and Jackson
Daddy and Isabella
Happy Birthday Callie!
Four Years Old
Isabella in Eric's hat

Lots of Babies in Bed

Notice that Nobody is Sleepy! No wonder we are always tired.

Feeding Time! Sarah gave up on individual bowls and spoons. There are not enough hours in the day. They are always stealing/sharing pacifiers and bottles anyway. It is much easier this way, but it can be noisy and is always messy. They love to pull off their bibs, blow food bubbles, and grab the spoon. By the time the bowl is empty, everyone--including Sarah--needs a bath. It is fun, though, because they eat just about everything.

Fun at the Fair

Michelle, Jackson and I

Eric had to go back to school again. Sarah is going to miss him. He keeps her company for late-night feedings and rockings.

Exploring Eric's OCU Campus

Indiana Hail--I was worried about my car!

Isabella figured out where Sarah keeps the "boo-boo's" and collects them all. She is happiest when she has several back-ups.

Izzy B Stealing Samantha's Boo-Boo

Izzy B Stealing Boo-Boo 2

Izzy B Stealing Boo-Boo 3

Jackson Pulling Up

Callie Playing in the Driveway

Daniel, Devon and Samantha

Kings Island

Daniel and Isabella

Jackson and his Bat

Callie Feeding Two

Izzy B Selling Tickets

Cousins

Tom's Baby Face--Papaw Bob noticed that this picture looks an awful lot like Jackson.

Eric's Glasses (He looks like quads, too)

Eric the Cowboy (I think he looks the most like Landon.)

My Kids Riding Missy, Tom's horse, a long time ago

Eric Marching on Washington with me in the Pro-Life March

Mamaw Betty

Samantha

Four on the Floor

Samantha

We have decided that multiples are generally good babies. They seem to be more content than singletons, probably because they have to wait so much. For everything.

Table Toy

Jackson in Devon's Purse

These are my babies. Aren’t they cute? :)

Callie holding Eric's snake

This has been a stressful summer. A few weeks ago I was sitting in the van at a stoplight on a rural road with Sarah, Michelle and the kids. Sarah was on the phone with Tony, when suddenly we were hit from behind. Tony heard the impact and the babies screaming. He jumped in his van and sped to where we were. I was afraid to look in the back seat! While I feared the worst, I kept praying. The babies appeared to be okay, but wouldn't stop crying. My head was hurting and my neck was stiff. Sarah's head hurt. But we were all in one piece. It turned out that we had been rear-ended by a lady with no license who was in a big hurry. Paramedics arrived and checked everyone. When the EMT took my blood pressure, he said, "Look, I know you are upset, but you need to calm down!" Thankfully, God was watching over us!
We were told to buy new car seats. They only survive one impact safely.

More Baby Seats

The Long-Awaited Dedication Day!

We were so excited and thankful to take the quads to church for the first time on Mother's Day. Pastor Dave dedicated the babies and their parents to Christ, encouraging Sarah and Tony to raise them to serve God faithfully. It was especially wonderful because so many of our dearest friends and family members were there to witness the ceremony.

We were so happy that Papaw Bob (Tom's dad) could come. It was his last visit to church.

The quads and their great-grandparents- They also have a great-great grandmother (Tom's grandma), if you can believe that!

Great-Great Grandma (Great-Grandma Stella's mom) and her great-great grandbabies! Wonderful!

Eric and Great-Grandma

Mom and Bettylu--Two Faithful Women of Prayer

We took up quite a few pews for the service

Landon, Devon and soon-to-be married Anna

Evaluations:

At the last evaluation, it was recommended that we put all but Jackson in physical therapy to get caught up. Isabella was "back crawling," which is common for preemies. (Remember how we called her a "bat" because she was always hanging her head upside down?) Samantha had been sick for so long and had much work to do. Landon had motor delays and sensory issues, whatever that means. Due to the expense, Sarah and Tony decided to put Landon in therapy and work with the other two themselves. We all started praying. It was incredible to watch the rapid improvement that they all made after the evaluation. Each day they would do something new. It was hard to keep with their progress.

Since that time, all three babies have started crawling. We were thrilled when Landon was able to pull himself up to stand! He is very determined. He learns quickly by watching his siblings. These babies are perfect gifts from God.

Papaw Bob and Sammy Jo

After the dedication, Tom's dad took a turn for the worse and went downhill very quickly. We spent as much time as we could at his house. He especially enjoyed holding Samantha. He said, "We understand each other because we have both been so sick." She would sit for hours in his lap. He held her as long as he was safely able to do so.

Bob spent the last weeks sharing the good news about Christ whenever he could. He asked me to pray for the people in his life that he loved who aren't living for God. He wrote letters and made phone calls. He told us all how much he loved us.

Bob and Stella had wonderful times together. Stella read a book to Bob called 50 Days of Heaven: Reflections That Bring Eternity to Light by Randy Alcorn. She was able to finish it before he became too ill to listen. She lovingly and faithfully cared for him until the end, keeping him home just like he wanted. It was so hard to watch, two hearts that beat as one tearing apart and preparing to say goodbye.

When Bob struggled to get down on the floor and build one more Lincoln Log house, I almost didn't take the picture. I knew it would be his last. He worked a long time on the house, getting it just right. I asked Callie to leave it stand for a while, but Bob said, "That's the fun of building it-- knocking it down." He told her to go ahead. She kicked it, and the last house was gone.

Stella, Eric and Bob
Early in the morning on July 6, the phone rang. Bob was gone. I could hardly tell Tom. He loved his dad more than words can say. Bob was his mentor, his hero, his friend. Somehow, life is never the same without your dad. In three short years, I've lost two fathers.

A few days later, Stella found a couple of sheets of paper in Bob’s checkbook. They were handwritten and not very big, but they explained so much about the man we knew and loved. Here is what he wrote:

Focus on These:

1. Don’t interfere in other’s affairs unless it directly affects me. Don’t judge or
give an opinion, unless asked.
2. Concentrate on maintaining a pleasant disposition. Concentrate on not showing
anger; strive for patience.
3. Don’t overreact or be dramatic. Work on your Poker Face. The only emotion to show
is friendliness and concern.
4. In all things, choose to be happy.
5. Always, in everything, strive for excellence.
6. When I fail in these rules, don’t give up. Try again.

My Prayer

Give me my steps today.
Help me not to fall into sin.
Help me not to be prideful.
Help me not to be lustful.
Help me not to be selfish.
Help me not to say or do anything hurtful.
Help me not to be a stumbling block.
Help me not to complain.

Help me to be an encourager.
Help me to put the needs of others first.
Help me to be grateful.
Help me to love God.
Help me to lift up Jesus.

And when it comes my time to die,
Help me to face it with courage.
Help me not to be a coward.
Help me to have confidence that God loves me, Jesus died for me and Heaven awaits me.
Help me to say, “In the Lord Jesus do I put my trust.

Bob loved the babies and his family so much. I am sorry they won’t know him. We are devastated at the thought of life without him, but are secure in the fact that we will see him in Heaven. Bob Head was an amazing man of God who loved and served his family and friends, which makes it so much harder to let him go.

Sarah and her Papaw Bob

Thanks for being a part of our journey, and thanks for praying!

Seven Months/The Passenger

2011-03-31T00:17:00.003-04:00

The Quads are SEVEN Months Old!

I haven't had much time to update the blog lately. Believe it or not, the babies now take more time than ever.

They are growing and changing so much each day. They still eat every three hours, but we started them on rice cereal and orange/yellow fruits and vegetables. Although they are generally happy babies, they don't like it when we leave the room. They get bored easily.

Sarah read some helpful advice from another multiples mom about rotating the babies often, so that is what we do. They go from bumble seat to sleeper chair to jumper chair to play seat to floor to swing. They are rolling over and playing with toys.

To make things more difficult, they got their first colds. Jackson had to go on an inhaler, but no one else did. It is almost comical when we try to comfort four crying babies. Sometimes Callie joins in just for good measure.

Cool Landon

We finally got them out of the house for something other than a doctor's appointment. They were not sure what to think, but they liked it. We can't wait for no more quarantine. I found this triplet stroller at the Multiples Sale back when Sarah was first expecting. It seems so long ago now. Anyway, I though it would work with a double stroller to carry all the kids--three plus two makes five. Now Tony just has to put a hitch on the van so we can transport it.

Our Sweet Little Bearcubs! They seem so much bigger to us, but according to the percentiles, they are still quite small.

Brown Bear--Landon (15 lbs.)

Blue Bear--Jackson (14 lbs.)

White Bear--Samantha (12 lbs.)

Pink Bear--Isabella (15 lbs.)

Sammy Jo

We finally kissed the oxygen goodbye. We are so glad to have it out of the house. We are more glad that we don't need it anymore!

Callie Lends a Helping Hand

The babies love their big sister. She can keep them entertained long enough to get some bottles made.

Uncle Eric, Cousin Cassondra and Callie

We are so proud of our boy! He was the lead scorer in two of the three games in his NCCAA tournament. He was interviewed and had his pictures in the paper. His team finished fifth.

Aunt Devon slacking--she's only holding two!

She sent Sarah this text one beautiful morning: "The sun is starting to rise a lot earlier:) Spring is coming! I get to watch it now on my way to work...The bright pinks, flashy oranges and deep purples bring back the all too familiar breathtaking awe of our Master's handiwork. As the sun creeps up over the horizon, the black night explodes into brilliant colors that God has painted across the unsuspecting sky. It's so beautiful, yet few people even take the time to enjoy this free art work for the short amount of time it's displayed every day. Sarah, your babies are the sunrise in your heart's sky! Gods work is FLAWLESS! He knows what He's doing. Take a deep breath, relax and enjoy His Masterpiece!"

Isabella loves her blanket and her "boo-boo."

Mamaw Stella helping with lots of shots.

Callie likes to help with laundry. She carefully rolls Papaw's socks--one at a time.

The Boys

The Girls

Isabella says yes to rice cereal.

Sammy Jo says no.

Landon concurs with Samantha.

We can't shovel it in fast enough for Jackson. He cries between bites and reaches for more when it is all gone.

Callie is counting down the days until she turns four. Her favorite song is her own original:

"I can't know why!" with some vibrato and twang, followed by whatever sad or unfair circumstance she finds herself in. It is tough being a big sister to four babies.

I have a feeling that they are plotting and planning what to do when they start crawling. Jackson is the ringleader.

Samantha smiles all the time. She seems so happy to be alive.

Izzy B-- our little upside down bat.

Three Couch Potatoes--Samantha has her own couch since she is still in quad denial.

See what I mean? Quad Denial.

Isabella said, "Da-da." (Sarah was not happy.) Izzy is very patient, affectionate and sweet. She reminds me of Sarah when she was little.

Landon is the most easy-going. He is definitely a mama's boy!

Jackson Jumping --Mr. Personality

Please pray for him. He has to have hernia surgery in April. Poor little guy! I think the hardest part will be going without a bottle for 6 hours before surgery. (Katie, bar the door!)

Jackson looks a lot like Tom's baby pictures. He seems to have Tom's personality, too. Interesting.

Jackson is really proud of himself. He has already figured out how to turn the light switch on and off. We are in so much trouble.

Jackson when he doesn't get his way. Look Out!

Izzy B

Samantha, Jackson and Callie

Tom asked Callie, "What do you want to do today?"

She said, "Find a waterfall." So he did.

Patiently waiting for more shots.

Still waiting...

Not so patiently waiting

Running out of wiggle room

Done with the shots. Getting ready to go see Papaw Bob and Mamaw Stella.

Samantha loves to talk. We just can't figure out what she is saying.

I know this is random, but this is me before the quads--a LONG time before the quads. I look so carefree. Little did I know...

This is my mom a long time before me. She has that same carefree look.

Callie and I made brownies. She said, "I like brownies cause they're CHOKWATE (chocolate). That's my favorite color."

Samantha's arm was pretty torn up and swollen from all of the NICU pic line attempts to save her life. Since there are not infant vascular specialists, we took her to a transplant surgeon to check the veins and arteries. For now, we are watching and waiting to see what happens. We are praying that her arm will heal. If it doesn't, we will teach her that her arm is a "mark of ownership" from God--a constant reminder of His miraculous love and intervention.

"Purify my heart

Let me be as gold and precious silver,

Purify my heart

Let me be as gold, pure gold.

Refiner's fire

My heart's one desire

Is to be holy

Set apart for You, Lord.

I choose to be holy

Set apart for You, my Master,

Ready to do Your will.

Purify my heart

Cleanse me from within and make me holy,

Purify my heart

Cleanse me from my sin, deep within. "

~Brian Doerksen

The doctors said none, so God gave us five.

My grandma taught me so much about faith. She also taught me how to handle a crisis of faith. It is strange how certain events can cause us to lose our way, often when we don't see it coming. It is almost as if we are prepared for the full-blown frontal attacks, but the unexpected ones send us reeling. Sometimes those sneak attacks are relatively small enough that I find my reaction embarassing, especially when I consider what other people suffer. That's when I try to get to the root of the problem, which always starts and ends with me.

Back when I first started driving, my grandma made me promise something. "Honey," she warned, “never, EVER, start the engine without first praying for protection. We all need God's protection."

Mamaw had a ritual. Without fail, every time she got behind the wheel of her car, she would pray. "Lord, keep us safe from any accidents today, and please protect our fellow travelers." I must have heard her pray that prayer a thousand times.

That promise was easy to keep. My grandmother had made an impression on me with her life of faith. The driving prayer became a habit before I realized it, freeing my mind from worrying about accidents. I had it all figured out: I loved God, I followed Him, and I prayed for protection. Therefore, God would protect me. Actually, that prayer was more than a habit; it was my security blanket.

Several years later, I was standing in the kitchen of my apartment doing the dishes. My one-year-old daughter Sarah was nearby, playing quietly with some toys on a quilt. As it seems to happen so often, life was good until the telephone rang. I dried my hands and answered, "Hello?"

"Sondra, what are you doing?" My mom sounded strange,like she was trying to prepare me. Something had happened.

"I am doing the dishes. What's wrong?" I could feel a knot forming in the pit of my stomach.

"I want you to sit down," she insisted.

I held my breath and grabbed the telephone tightly. "No, Mom! Just tell me!"

"Mamaw's been in an accident," Mom finished, “and we’re not sure how bad it is.” I could not tell if she was more worried about the accident or about how I would take it. I learned that Mamaw had somehow hit a telephone pole head-on. She was en route to the hospital and she was not conscious.

I was frantic all the way to the emergency room. Could an older woman survive hitting a telephone pole? Could anyone? I knew she had prayed before she drove; she would not start the car otherwise. And that is when the doubt started. Somewhere down deep in my heart, a crisis of faith was forming.

On the drive to the hospital, I fought the ugly disbelief, but it was no use. Unanswered questions filled my mind. Am I just weak? Maybe prayer does not make a difference after all. I felt betrayed and disloyal at the same time.

Once Mamaw regained consciousness, the nurse took me to triage and pulled back the curtain. My heart broke when I saw my poor little grandma. Her face and body were horribly bruised and bloodied. She looked tiny and helpless, engulfed by the white hospital bed. "Oh, Mamaw, I...." My voiced cracked. I couldn’t say anymore.

The doctor quickly filled me in. Several bones were broken in her face. Her nose was badly fractured. Both eyes were blackened. Quite a few of her ribs were cracked, making any movement-- including breathing--excruciating. Her kneecap and leg were deeply bruised, and she had a severe concussion. Surgery would be necessary to repair her shattered face. Healing would be a slow process.

The police officer who had first arrived on the scene determined that Mamaw had fallen asleep at the wheel, hitting a telephone pole head-on at forty-five miles per hour. All things considered, she was fortunate. Although she was advanced in age, she had lived through an accident that is nearly always fatal. The doctor determined her survival to be nothing short of miraculous.

When Mamaw was ready to leave the hospital, my sisters and I took her home and gently tucked her into bed. I stayed with her, caring for her as she had always lovingly cared for me. Meanwhile, the weight of my spiritual discouragement became almost tangible. My heart felt like ice. Day and night, I relived the accident. If God didn't hear the prayers of a faithful, godly prayer warrior like my grandma, then what chance did I have? Without faith, my life no longer made sense.

Eventually, Mamaw's injuries began to heal. My injured faith did not. God had let us down, and I did not know what to do about that. Faith had been a defining factor my whole life. Now, I felt completely abandoned by the God I served, and He was silent.

"I would like to see my car before the junk yard gets rid of it," Mamaw declared one day. "I have some things in the trunk." Carefully climbing into my car, she grimaced as she settled into the seat. Her ribs were still sore. She was a different woman than she had been before her encounter with an immovable object. She had aged considerably.

We drove silently into Morrow, necessarily retracing the route she had taken that fateful day. Passing the school, we noticed a brand new telephone pole out front. "I cracked the other one in half," Mamaw laughed. "They sent me a bill for the new one, and it was $500. Between the pole, the car and the hospital, that was one expensive wreck!"

I pulled into the junkyard hoping I wouldn’t run over anything that would flatten my tires. I wanted to get the whole thing over with as soon as possible. I turned off that engine. Someone was coming.

"What can I do for you, ladies?" drawled the grease-covered mechanic. The short, stocky man had heavily-muscled arms and legs. His full dark beard completely camouflaged his mouth, hiding the fact that his lips were moving. I wondered how he could even find an opening to feed himself.

"We've come about my grandmother's car," I answered, pointing to the frail woman beside me. "She was in an accident with a telephone pole in Morrow a few weeks ago. The police said that you had towed it here."

"That was you?" The mechanic's black, bushy eyebrows rose in surprise as he let out a long, low whistle. His dark eyes stared out from under the brim of a sweat-streaked ball cap. They looked too small to be of much use. "I bet my partner that the driver of that wreck was road-kill." He sounded disappointed. "I've been towing wrecks a long time. I'm not usually wrong."

He peered at the massive collection of junked cars as if they were card- catalogued in alphabetical order. "It’s over this-a-ways," he said proudly, adjusting his britches. "I can locate any car in this lot with my private system." His lips still weren't discernable. "Makes my partner so mad, 'cause I won't tell him how I do it," he said, chuckling into his beard.

Hiking through a labyrinth of disfigured automobiles was unnerving. I felt chilled as we followed the man through the wreckage. The sky was dark with heavy clouds ready to dump rain on the already miserable-looking cars. The headlights of each vehicle stared blankly at our little entourage, seemingly resigned to their lonely destiny. It was creepy. Each car had once carried a driver. Each driver had been in route to a destination. Those plans had been instantly, and in some cases permanently, changed.

Our strange tour guide was talking to himself in low tones. Turning, he rubbed his hands together furiously, indicating that he had successfully completed his mission. "Found it!" he declared. "Like I said, my system never fails."

He proudly stepped back to reveal my grandmother's vehicle. The car she had taken such good care of was barely recognizable.

Shifting uncomfortably, the man murmured, "Glad you're okay, Ma'am. Let me know if you need anything else." Excusing himself with an odd bow, he shoved his hands in his pockets and disappeared into the maze of cars. His cheerful whistle echoed behind him, then faded.

I turned back to find my grandmother quietly observing what was left of her car. The front looked like an accordion, with a telephone-pole-shaped indention near the center. I was almost afraid to look inside. Pressing my face to the glass, I felt ill. There was blood everywhere. The windshield was shattered with a head-shaped indention on the driver's side. The under-dash was indented with a knee-print. Incredibly, the steering wheel was bent in half from the force of Mamaw's body during the impact. Looking down on the floor, I saw her clear, plastic rain bonnet. She had purchased it to protect her hair from drops of rain. Instead, it was covered with dark drops of dried blood.

I was unprepared for my reaction. Angry tears began to slide silently down my cheeks. They weren’t tears of despair-- my grandma had survived. These tears came from someplace deep in my soul, a bitter place that had grown dark. Nothing made sense anymore.

As if to complete some cosmic joke, it started to rain. I was completely miserable.

"Grab that umbrella in the front seat, honey," Mamaw said. Quickly wiping the tears from my face, I wrestled the crooked passenger door open. A wave of nausea hit me when I smelled the mixture of blood and antifreeze. The umbrella was under the seat, oddly unaffected by the grisly events that surrounded it.

I opened the umbrella and held it over us. Mamaw reached around and patted my hand. "God sure took care of me that day. I guess I would have died, otherwise." She spoke quietly, almost to herself. "That was a strange day."

"What do you mean?" I murmured. I was concentrating on finding our way back to my car, wishing I had left a trail of breadcrumbs.

The rain began falling steadily, making a drumbeat on the umbrella. "As you know very well, I always pray for protection before I go anywhere," she explained. "I won't start the car before I do."

I nodded in agreement. I could feel a faint stirring somewhere inside. Maybe there was more to this story than I realized.

"Didn't you ask for protection that day?" I asked quietly.

"Well, I started to do just that. But it was the strangest thing! I just felt like the Lord wanted me to pray differently that day, so I did. I prayed, 'Lord, I don't EVER want to be in an accident UNLESS you are in it with me.'"

I exhaled deeply, feeling a weight lifting off me for the first time in a long while.

“Did I tell you that I had a passenger with me when I wrecked? I wasn’t alone. Jesus was with me, you know," she added.

"I know," I whispered. I couldn't seem to find my voice, but relief flooded my heart. God had been there all of the time. I was the one who had pulled away.

She continued, "Sondra, we have to believe the Bible. It’s God’s Word! He has promised to work all things together for good in our lives, even when we can't see it. We have to trust Him to keep His promises."

She looked at me with knowing eyes. "He'll use the accident for good, honey," she promised. "You can count on it."

I helped her into my car, shook out the umbrella and dropped it in the back. Starting the engine, I drove away, gladly putting the accident behind us.

Mamaw patted my leg and smiled cheerfully. "Aren't you glad we serve a great God?"

"Yes, Mamaw, I am," I agreed. It was still raining, but it seemed like the sun was shining.

I didn't have to wait for good to come from the accident. It already had.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of my kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~James 1:1-4

Thanks for praying!

How Can I Keep From Singing
by Chris Tomlin

There is an endless song

Echoes in my soul

I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come

I am holding on

To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise

How can I ever say enough

How amazing is Your love

How can I keep from shouting Your name

I know I am loved by the King

And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes

In the darkest night

For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You

Knowing You'll see me through

And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times

Sing when I win

I can sing when I lose my step

And fall down again

I can sing 'cause You pick me up

Sing 'cause You're there

I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord

When I call to You in prayer

I can sing with my last breath

Sing for I know

That I'll sing with the angels

And the saints around the throne

Five Months Old/ Chicken for Dinner

2011-01-31T22:07:00.054-05:00

The quads are five months old chronologically and three months gestationally. They seem so big to us, but according to the doctors they are really small compared to their singleton counterparts.

Landon is 13 pounds, Jackson is 11 pounds, Isabella is 13 pounds, and Samantha is 10 pounds.

Samantha and her red nose after her bath.

Safe in the arms of one of our favorite policemen.

Jackson taking it easy. For once. We were looking at a preemie outfit that was too big for Jackson when he came home. He has finally outgrown it. He becoming quite an entertainer. He has charisma like Papaw.

Izzy B trying to escape her seat. She's flying!

Izzy B posing for this picture.

Izzy B planning her escape. Don't let the innocent face fool you. We can't take our eyes off her for one minute.

Samantha wearing her oxygen at night only.

Mamaw Betty and Jackson. See how big he is getting?

Isabella sleeping in her swing. So glad she likes it and is still able to use it.

Jackson entertaining me

Grandma Cathy (Tony's mom) with Callie and Landon. Pretty lady!

Landon looks happy.

Our pediatric group is truly "ours." Not only do they take care of Callie and the quads, but they also took care of my kids and---believe it or not--ME! Yes, it was a VERY long time ago. Yes, my doctor is still practicing. They are the best doctors around. So glad we have them.

We got exciting news from the neonatologist. Samantha is off her oxygen around the clock now. It took her about a week to adjust before she started eating well and gaining weight again. Samantha graduated out of the tiny NICU bottles into regular small baby bottles! Her skin has gotten pinker. I took Samantha's tapes off her face for good, I hope. Even though she is off oxygen, she is still on the oximeter. I do a double-take every time I look at her because she looks so different now that she is wireless. When I remember the dark days when we almost lost her, I can hardly believe that I am writing of her excellent progress.

I Peter 2:22-23. I can't have peace in my life until I let go of the difficult days. Part of letting go means that I have to stop trying to figure it all out. I don't want to be the kind of believer who only praises God when I get what I want. It takes true faith to not get what I hope and pray for but still praise God. He has been so good to us.

Somewhere in the midst of it all and with a little help from Devon, Samantha found her laugh!

Sarah and Tom got into a slap-happy food fight over a Diet Coke. Sarah ended up with cereal all over herself. Nobody comes between Tom and his Diet Coke. He who has the most sleep wins.

Cassie and Callie. Best friends/cousins

Tom and I took my VW to get it repaired after Eric's accident. They gave us a rental while they worked. After $3000 worth of deer damage, I have my Beetle back. I love Geico! I learned that it stands for Government Employee Insurance Company. Interesting acrostic.

Tom working hard while holding a sleeping Isabella.

Tom and I watched the kids while Sarah and Tony went out to Outback Steakhouse to use a gift card. Landon, Jackson and Isabella fussed the whole time. Callie helped us entertain them.

Landon and Isabella watching Mommy.

We bathed all the quads and cut their nails. Landon smiled his crooked smile throughout his bath. He likes being pampered.

We decided to take the quads out of their sleeper zip blankets for the first time since we brought them home. Now that they are bigger, they are getting too warm. They kick their feet and try to run.

Sarah is no longer able to provide breast milk for the babies. She is disappointed since the antibodies are so essential to prevent illness. We so thankful that she made it five months with quadruplets and a three year old. That has to be some kind of record!

Daddy and his girls.

Isabella

Sarah, Devon, my sisters and I started Zumba. We are enjoying it very much. After the sedentary summer and fall, we need to move around. Tom and Tony watched the kids. When Tony had to leave for work, Tom and Callie changed a very poopy diaper! Will miracles never cease?

Tom, Callie and I met Eric's girlfriend to give her a care package for Eric. Tom bought candy at Cracker Barrel, including the giant jaw breakers Eric loved when he was little. I didn't have the heart to tell Tom that Eric is all grown up. I hope he still likes jaw breakers, or at least enjoys the memories.

My Jumpers--Tom playing basketball in high school.

Watching Eric's Game--Devon gripping the rails while Eric shoots a three pointer. He made it.

Devon giving Eric a half-time pep talk.

Time Out--Love those Eagle days.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Eric in the blue uniform

Tom and Eric playing ping pong in Eric's dorm. Just to keep the peace, I am not going to tell you who won. :)

Tom's college ID picture.

My girls/boys. Don't ask.

Two of Eric's biggest fans! Sadly, Tom's driving on the curvy roads spilled their cokes onto the posters which erased all of their hard work.

Tom and Joshua (nephew). Love this picture.

Great picture of Eric and Papaw Bob (Tom's dad)

This warm weather is so nice, but we had so much fun when we were all snowed in. For starters, Tom made me breakfast in bed! It was delicious. I have to say that he makes better scrambled eggs than I do. They are always cooked to perfection--never too dry with just the right amount of cheese.

This is the awesome verse on the back of my dad's headstone. He is buried just down the road from me; somehow, that is a comfort.

Callie and Reaper

Callie wearing Devon's hat

Snow Angel

Devon and I took Callie on a long walk over the train tracks to the graveyard and visited my dad's grave. Our noses were frozen when we returned. Our snow day tradition always includes hot chocolate and homemade chicken noodles. This time Callie helped me make the noodles.

Callie making homemade chicken noodles after playing in the snow.

I can't make noodles without remembering all of the times that I helped my grandmother in her kitchen. The familiar motions of working the dough with flour-covered hands takes me right back to Mamaw's steam-filled kitchen. We would roll out the dough on her enamel table by the window, which was so foggy from the bubbling broth that I could draw pictures on it. Those were such special times, because she would share stories of her answered prayers while we cooked.

My grandma had a great faith. She prayed about everything, big and small. We talked about those prayers and believed God would hear and answer them. She prayed like she breathed. When my grandma decided to serve Christ, she didn't mess around. She had one main goal. She wanted to get as close to God as a person can possibly get in this life.

When times were hard and money was scarce, Mamaw had to be creative to feed her family. She didn't want to complain, but there are only so many ways to prepare beans and cornbread. One day, she was washing the breakfast dishes and talking to God. She said, "Lord, I sure would love some fried chicken for dinner." She could almost taste the meat while she rinsed and dried the dishes. But she didn't have any chickens in the hen house and no one in the area did either. She set out a jar of dinner beans on the table.

Her lazy tom cat interrupted Mamaw's chores with his loud meowing. "What can that old cat possibly want?" she murmured as she dried her hands on her apron and headed for the back door. He had already been fed. He never earned his keep by catching the moles that were burrowing in the back yard. The overweight cat only moved when the sun did.

Mamaw opened the door. There sat Old Tom looking quite pleased with himself. He had left his sunbeam and gone hunting after all. He proudly placed his catch at Mamaw's feet. It was a large hen, suitable for frying.

Mamaw had fried chicken for dinner. She said it was the best chicken she had ever tasted, before or since.

My grandma taught me that God's grace makes it easy to live for Him. He forgives our mistakes and paid for our sin. He gives us the desire and power to do follow His plan, which is exactly what we would want if we could see the future. Her life impacted mine for eternity.

She prayed two special prayers for me from the time of my birth. First, she prayed that I would have such wonderful experiences with God that I would never doubt that He exists and loves me.

Second, she prayed that I would someday write a book. I think this blog should count for that. :)

Thanks for praying!

Part 2 of the Quad Documentary/Looking Forward to the Promotion

2011-01-13T23:13:00.004-05:00

Part 2 of the Quad Documentary "A Blessing Times Four" aired this week on TBN and other stations. It was a much happier event than the last one. We have so much to be thankful for and pray that we are an encouragement.

Samantha got a wonderful Christmas present from the neonatologist. She gets to come off her oxygen during the day! The babies have grown. Landon is 12. Izzy B is 12. Jackson is 11. Samantha is 10.

One of our favorite nurses is named Karen. She was a comfort when Sarah was hospitalized. She stopped me in the hall to see if I was lost. When I told her where I was headed, she spent a long time calming my fears about the NICU and invited me for a tour. Now she takes care of Samantha during her visits. God bless her!

Isabella and Jackson having some tummy time.

Callie loved all her Christmas presents, and we didn't lose any of the babies in the wrapping paper.

Isabella and her "boo-boo" are rarely separated. If they are, she steals Jackson's.

Look at Landon's eyes. Can you tell they're related? Everyone says Landon looks like Eric.

Homework or not--all ye who enter here must hold a baby. Or two. or three.

Uncle Doug has his hands full.

Samantha gets her bath, but is not too happy about it until she is all clean. Then she's ready to play!

Sarah doesn't get much sleep. She was having a hard time getting Isabella's pacifier in her mouth. It just wouldn't go in! She turned on the light and realized it was Jackson's hand that she was trying to put in Isabella's mouth. That reminds me of the time she was changing Landon and panicked because his "boy parts" were missing. She looked closely and discovered that she was actually changing Isabella. Ah, the joys of multiples.

They are never too big to hold. However, they may be too tired.

Samantha is the only one of the quads who still requires regular visits to the neonatologist. The other three don't have to go back until they are gestationally 6 months, which will be chronologically 8 months since they were born early.

Tom's basketball teams are playing hard and winning games. He barely has time to change diapers anymore!

Tony's family came in town and they all went to the Aquarium. Callie kept looking for Nemo.

Callie, the dogs and daddy having fun in the snow.

Tony has some help while he tries to get some Cincinnati Holiday Lighting work finished.

Remember the sonogram that showed Samantha sucking her thumb? She still does. We need to start researching easy ways to stop thumb sucking, especially since one of my former college students had not yet broken her habit.

Eric played well again. He led the team in scoring, steals and tied for blocks and second for total rebounds. Led the team in offensive rebounds. U of Alabama. Wow! Eric can put up points fast and turn a game around.During his last 33 minutes of play he's scored 34 points.Fun to watch. When I told Eric he played great, he gave God the credit, which made me cry.

Tom, Callie and I went with Eric to eat before he went back to school. Callie was upset that Eric wasn't in the car with us. She kept saying, "Eric's coming home!" I called him so she could talk to him. She said, "Hi Eric. I miss you." Afterward, we were sitting at a stoplight. I was feeling sad that he was leaving once again. Callie was watching me in the mirror from her car seat. She said, "Mamaw, is Eric your boy?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Don't worry. He's coming back. Okay?"

Eric made the Dean's List! Hooray! Will miracles ever cease?

I went to my doctor. She took me off one of my blood pressure medicines. Unbelievable! My stress level has gone way down since the quads came. My blood pressure was 113 over 68. Must be that prayer cover.

Devon hit black ice the other night, spun out, lost control of her Mustang, and hit a tree. The air bag, tree, and seat belt kept her from flipping, thank the Lord. She is very sore. Her left side hurts. So does her head and neck. She needs a new car. No Mustang this time.

When I saw Devon's car, I realized that God had really reached down and saved my little girl. I had been praying for her when it happened, which got me thinking. Christ is not only mighty to save us when we turn away from sin, but He is also able to make us change. He is able to give us new hearts and keep us pure until he carries us to Heaven. He is able to build faith in us. He is mighty to give us a new heart and make us who once hated living right to love doing so. The saved life is one miracle after the next from the mighty hand of God. He doesn't create a believer and then leave him to take care of himself. He strengthens us until we break free from every rope of sin and fly to Heaven. When we pray, we need to remember that Christ is mighty to save. If you don't believe me, take a look at that Mustang.

Not to be outdone, Eric had a wreck in my electric blue turbo diesel VW Beetle two days later on his way back to school. Two wrecks--two kids--two days means my low blood pressure is a real blessing. Anyway, he hit a deer which split in half, went 15 feet in the air, and landed back on my car. Eric is okay, thank the Lord. He was very worried about telling me, so he made Tom do it. If he had been in his car, the deer probably would have gone through the windshield It is a miracle that Eric is okay. My car is a different story. I love my car, but I love Eric more. It is a comfort to remember that whatever touches my life must pass through the hands of God first. I shouldn't complain when difficulties come my way, as if God is singling me out for trouble. Everything is used for good in my life. Maybe the aerodynamics of my car saved Eric's life. Maybe God will accomplish something through this accident that answers my prayers. Maybe I was holding on to my car too tightly, putting it above relationships. I am precious in God's sight, even when my plans (and my bug) end in disappointment.

Eric called and invited us to meet him in Louisville for the day. We met at the Louisville Caverns, which was closed and creepy. Instead, we went to dinner at a steakhouse on the river and saw Yogi Bear in 3D. So much fun!

Devon stayed home because she was going flying. Literally. That child is going to be the death of me.

Notice the difference between Landon and Jackson.

Here is Jackson's happy face.

Tom's dad is battling cancer and is recovering from surgery. While he was in the hospital, the nurses were happy to have him as a patient. Everywhere he goes, people love him.

I have learned a lot from my father-in-law over my years of marriage to his son. When Sarah was first born, I stayed with my in laws for a few days while I recovered from the C-section. During that time, Bob held Sarah every chance he got. Although I wasn't surprised that he held Sarah so much, I was curious about the way he looked at her. He would cradle her in his arms and hold her out in front. Then he would study her. He stared at her eyes, her nose, her mouth. He would examine her fingers and her toes. It took me awhile to figure out why. Then one day he told me. "Look how tiny and perfect she is! It is amazing that God can make this little person with everything she needs." He was in awe of God's creation. I see him studying the quads with that same awe times four. Bob's wonder at new life reminds me do the same, to drink in the miracle of God's creation all around me every chance I get.

I've learned about friendship. Bob doesn't have casual friends the way most people do. He loves others whether they are deserving or not. He treats everyone as if he or she were his only friend. He appreciates each one of them for who they are. He listens and cares and helps and prays. One day, he offered Tom a glimpse into his thinking regarding others. He said, "When I look at someone, I picure him wearing a sign that says, 'Make me feel important. All people want to feel special, to know that someone cares.'" Bob has shown me a picture of God's unconditional love.

I've learned about perserverance. When Bob was little, he contracted polio. He was deathly sick, but he survived. He gave up months of his childhood to recooperate; he wasn't well enough to compete in the sports he loved. Instead of becoming sullen and bitter, he picked up music. He learned to sing and to play several different instruments. God used those talents to give Bob a ministry to serve many as a music director for years.

I've learned about faith. Cancer usually only shows up as one kind in a victim's lifetime. He is on his third unrelated kind. He doesn't complain. He carries on. Bob keeps loving and trusting God.

Bob likes to ride horses, so Devon and Eric bought their papaw a print of a man on a horse in a blizzard. He is carrying a stray calf and a lantern, trying to find his way. Stella took it to the hospital and propped it in the window. He was looking at it in the dim light when he saw Jesus carrying the man. There is a verse at the bottom of the print that says, "I will carry you and rescue you." (Isaiah 46:4) Stella and I can't see Jesus in the picture. Maybe you can. Either way, I believe that God is encouraging Bob in miraculous ways. I felt the Lord's presence in the hospital room while he slept, as if Jesus were standing watch while Bob regained his strength.

We don't know what the future holds, but we are praying for God to heal Tom's dad and give him many more years of ministry/life. For him, they are one in the same. Although our family members are fighting for life at both ends of the journey, the facts are the same. The Bible says that all of our days were numbered by God before we drew our first breath. He decides when we live. He decides when we die. Whether we are newborn or seventy, we are indestructable until our ministry is finished. When it is finished, we look forward to the promotion.

All of us who know and love him best will agree that we are better because of his presence in our lives. For more people than he will ever know, Bob is an example of courage and life-changing faith. I am one of those fortunate people.

Thanks for praying.

Every life has a choice
To rise up to fill the void
Every heart has a mission
And we are called to be human

Chorus:
We gotta do better than this cuz we only got
One chance to make a difference
We gotta do better than this cuz we only got
One life that we've been given
A little love, a little kindness
A little light in this time of darkness
It'll be what makes us different
It'll be what makes us human
I'm human, you're human, we are human

We are marked with His image
And we are scarred with indifference
Maybe now we should listen
Hear the cry of God's children

Chorus:
We gotta do better than this cuz we only got
One chance to make a difference
We gotta do better than this cuz we only got
One life that we've been given
A little love, a little kindess
A little light in this time of darkness
It'll be what makes the difference
It'll be what makes us human
I'm human, you're human, we are
We are human
I'm human, you're human, we are
We are human

Gotta do better than this cuz I only got
One chance to make a difference
Gotta do better than this cuz I'm only
Just one

I'm human, you're human, we are
We are human

It'll be what makes the difference
It'll be what makes us human

Love the Snow Reason # 1 / Love the Snow Reason # 2

2010-12-16T23:38:00.003-05:00

Devon got a SNOW DAY!

School and basketball were canceled today, so we were snowed in with Callie and the quads. Cold weather always manages to create good family times. I often hear people complain about the cold weather, but I love the snow for two reasons. On snow days we eat homemade chicken and noodles, make snow ice cream, drink steaming hot chocolate, and break out the boots/gloves/sleds. Family togetherness is the first reason I love the snow.

Miss Isabella wants to play. She is happiest on her belly.

We are getting lots of Samantha smiles these days. My mom says that means she is a happy baby.

Landon follows us around the room with his eyes. He is quiet but content. He is getting a dimple like Eric's in his chin.

Jackson is very entertaining at 6 AM. He has the cutest crooked grin and a contagious belly laugh! Jackson has a dimple in his cheek and his chin.

Callie is having fun sledding with Daddy. She keeps reminding me that it's "six minutes to Christmas, Mamaw!"

Tom is getting pretty good at working on the IPad while entertaining two babies at the same time. Now if he will just learn to use his feet to jiggle the other two in baby seats at the same time, Sarah and I can have a break.

Callie and Tony Trimming Number Two Tree

We are looking forward to Christmas. Pictured above is Christmas Tree Number Two. Tree Number One is rogue. It tripped me, sent me flying, and I body slammed it flat on the ground. The impact hurt like crazy, but made the tree much easier to put back in the box. Sleep deprivation can be dangerous!

Snow brings a gentle hush over everything. Today, I went out to clean the snow off the cars, and I savoured the silence. After a big snow, I used to enjoy going out to the barn early in the morning to feed the horses. It would be so quiet, except for the rhythmic crunching of the horses chewing their sweet feed. Periodically they would shake their manes and snort in appreciation, sending bursts of steam through their nostrils into the frigid air. Horses make me calm. They don't worry about much except eating and running. I used to sit on a bale of hay to watch them. It helped me get a perspective about the time I waste worrying.

One snowy morning, I was tossing flakes of hay to the horses just as the sun was coming up. Rays of light filled the barn loft and hit an old rusty cage. Instantly, it was transformed. The inside of the barn began to sparkle as if it were filled with thousands of twinkling diamonds suspended in mid-air. I was intrigued, so I put down the hay and climbed up the homemade ladder to get a closer look. What I discovered amazed me.

Undisturbed for years, spiders had labored to fill that entire cage with intricate webbing. When the sun peaked in through the barn slats, it warmed the air, causing moisture to condense in tiny droplets all over the webs. The rays of light hit the drops turning them into sparkling prisms of light. It was a beautiful work of art, and the horses and I were the only ones to see it. I watched until the sun moved past the cage, leaving no evidence of the former display of light.

What kind of God takes the time to create such incredible beauty that is rarely--if ever--seen? Even in the quiet of the morning, a web-filled cage shouted of His glory. I walked out of the barn onto the blanket of fresh snow that was making everything clean and new, and remembered.

When I was seven, my widowed grandmother drove all the way to Michigan for a visit. She was on a mission. She came up in my room to tell me how Jesus had died on the cross so I could live with Him forever in Heaven. Together, we knelt by my bed while I asked Jesus to make my heart clean from sin for all the times--past, present and future--that I would fall short of God's plan. In little girl fashion, I pictured God sending a heavy Michigan snow to make my dirty heart perfectly clean.

I have never been the same. That is the second reason that I will always love the snow.

"Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow." Psalm 51:7b

Thanks for praying,

Merry Christmas!

Three Months/Along for the Ride

2010-12-09T23:11:00.016-05:00

I haven't had much time or energy to blog lately. I went to bed last night at 4 am and Callie woke me up at 8:45 am, so forgive me if I ramble.

We must be doing something right, because the babies are getting bigger. They are three months old. Here is what they weigh:

Landon- 10 lbs. 4 ozs.
Jackson- 9 lbs. 1 oz.
Isabella- 10 lbs. 10 ozs.
Samantha- 8 lbs. 4 ozs.

They are awake more during the day, and it is hard to entertain them all. We use molded foam Bumbo seats that support them so they can sit up for a change.

They are starting to smile and coo at us. Landon is the most alert and awake. Isabella is the sleepiest.

Everyone but Samantha is taking more formula, which means we go through about 10 cans per week. They also moved up on the diaper size, going from preemie to newborn. Samantha and Jackson still fit in their preemie clothes, but the other two are in newborn.

Doctor visits keep us busy, sometimes two or three per week. We don't mind because we get out of the house. If we weren't so sleepy, we would probably find our departure preparations amusing. We try to time everything between the three hour feedings and diaper changes.

First, we pack enough blankets, bottles, diapers, wipes and spare clothes to last. Second, we bring the car seats inside. Third, we warm up the car. Fourth, Samantha needs her oximeter alarm and portable oxygen tanks. (We bring a spare tank in case we get delayed.) Fifth, we need snow suits for all. Sixth, we need four clean pacifiers and straps to attach them. Finally, we are ready to strap the quads in their seats. While we are making trips to the car, it is hard to keep anyone happy. By the time we load up, Sarah and I are worn out. To make it worse, Sarah's quadruple pregnancy was very hard on her feet. She has been in a lot of pain since she delivered the babies.

All appointments except for the eye doctor involve undressing the babies and dressing them back again, while keeping an eye on Callie. She keeps us entertained while we work.

"Look Mamaw! I'm makin' vegetable soup."

"What are you putting in your soup?" I murmur distractedly.

"Ummm...Yucky stuff. And crackers!"

We had our regular visit to Good Sam. We were excited when the neonatologist turned down Samantha's oxygen. Later that day, however, Samantha ate only half of her bottles and cried most of the night. We turned her oxygen back up and called the pediatrician. A blood test showed that Samantha's white cell count was up, so the doctor sent us to Children's right away. With her history, he wanted to rule out meningitis. We were very worried. It brought back so many bad memories.

My mom, family and church all began to pray for Samantha. I was especially touched by the prayers and encouragement from my extended family members in Florida because my fifteen-year-old cousin Britton had just passed away from a brain tumor. In spite of their unbearable grief and the agony of funeral planning, they stopped to ask God to heal little Sammy Jo. Their faith is immovable.

Britton Ballard (1995-2010)

At Children's, Samantha's blood was drawn and she had to be catheterized to rule out a urinary tract infection. Before the tests began, I gave the nurse the third degree to make sure he had experience with small babies. He assured me that he has worked on babies Samantha's size and smaller. He gave me the "honor" of holding Samantha down while he worked. It turned out that he was very good and the procedures went smoothly.

I was supposed to return to the doctor's office to wait for the results in case antibiotic shots were necessary. Before I made it back, the doctor called with good news: no meningitis and no UTI, so it was probably viral. She started to feel better almost as soon as we got home and had a good night.

Two days later, we loaded up the quads for the next doctor appointment. Samantha and Jackson had another eye exam. Prematurity and oxygen can cause premature infants to have damaged or lost sight. (Musician Stevie Wonder lost his sight to retiniopathy of prematurity shortly after his premature birth.) The quads are at risk, so they have regular check ups. We like the eye doctor and nurses, but we dread the exams. They are such an ordeal! Once we arrive and get settled in a room, the nurse comes to put the first of two sets of drops in their eyes. Then we have to sit for half an hour to wait for their eyes to dilate. Keeping four babies and a three-year-old quiet during that time makes 30 minutes seem like an eternity. Somehow, we always manage to bump into feeding time, which adds to the challenge of keeping everyone happy.

The exam itself is uncomfortable, even though the nurse gives numbing drops. The doctor has a spring-loaded prong thingee that holds their eyelids open while he examines their eyes with a very bright light. Obviously, the quads resist the procedure. For some reason, the eye medicine makes them very crabby for a couple of days. The doctor doesn't know if the medicine irritates their eyes, or if dilated pupils irritates the babies. Either way, it's rough for 48 hours.

The appointment before last revealed that Isabella's and Landon's eyes had finally matured. Jackson's and Samantha's were still at risk, with Samantha's worse than Jackson's. This time Jackson went first. His eyes were mature, so he was released until next summer. Hooray!

Samantha was next. We held our breath while she was examined, hoping she had at least improved a little and had not hemorrhaged. She is the most at risk due to her trio of eye-affecting problems: prematurity, septic shock and extended oxygen use.

The nurse wrapped Samantha's arms tightly in a blanket and held her down while the doctor went to work. Samantha's crying made the oximeter go off, which made us even more nervous. The exam seemed to take a long time.

"She's finished," announced the doctor as he switched on the light. "I don't need to see her again until she is one year old. Her eyes are mature!"

Sarah and I stared at each other, totally speechless. We asked him to repeat himself, not sure we'd heard correctly. We had.

As we pushed the strollers out to the car, I wondered when God had actually healed Samantha's eyes. It could have been a gradual process that happened since the last appointment. But I doubt it. I choose to believe that there were so many prayers going up for Samantha's illness that God let them spill over onto her eyes, too. Apparently, He has plans for Miss Sammy Jo. I'm just glad to be along for the ride.

Thanks for praying.

"I love the Lord because he hears my voice
and my prayer for mercy.
Because he bends down to listen,
I will pray as long as I have breath!"
Psalm 116:1-2

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T12:03:00.004-05:00

Isabella

I am spending the day quarantined with five kids-- Callie, the quads, and Tom. It is the first time that Eric has been away from us on Thanksgiving. He is in Hawaii playing basketball, so I don't think he misses us too much. I have a turkey in the oven, two babies in my lap, Callie playing at my feet, and Tom feeding the other two babies. We have so much to be thankful for this year. God bless you and have a happy Thanksgiving!

Room with a View

Pearl Harbor

Thanks for your prayers.

Filming/Bigger Corner

2010-11-20T23:29:00.001-05:00

(If it seems like I am writing this in my sleep, it is because I am. )

We filmed Part 2 of the documentary this week. It was so much easier than the first one since the quads are safely here. This time seemed like a celebration. The first one was more serious since we didn't know what the outcome would be. The producer said that he and the film crew were very somber when they left the first interview with Sarah's doctor, since none of the doctor's statistics were promising. I couldn't even watch the doctor part of the documentary at first. Thank goodness for fast forward.

Part 2 is supposed to air a couple of weeks before Christmas. Please pray that God will use the documentary to change lives and give people hope. In addition, please pray for my son Eric. He is leaving tonight with his team to play basketball in Hawaii. It is the first time he has been away on Thanksgiving, and we will miss him. Please pray that they will have a safe trip.

The quads had their check up and one half of their first set of shots. We had trouble carrying four pumpkin seats into the doctor's office, so we put the girls in one stroller and the boys in another. Samantha objected to her traveling arrangements.

Landon was content to do whatever we had on his agenda, as usual. Jackson stored up energy for his regular loud protest at the doctor's office.

Landon is 9 pounds.

Jackson is 7 pounds.

Isabella is 9 pounds.

Samantha is 7 pounds.

The doctor is pleased with the progress the babies are making. He said that the older three are amazing for quads of their gestational ages. Samantha's progress is more what he would expect for a quad born at 33 weeks. We are encouraged.

The days continue to run together in a blur of feeding, laundry, bottle-making, and diaper changing. Feeding takes place every three hours. Jackson is first. Landon is last. The girls are in between. We change diapers before a feeding and afterward, if necessary. The quads are still "leaking" when the eat because they don't get a good suction on the nipples, so they each soak a burp cloth every time they eat. When we add in the clothes and blankets, we end up with a lot of laundry! We already wore out my poor old washer, so Tom surprised us with a new one.

Bottle washing and formula making takes forever. Each baby takes a different amount, so we use different bottles to help keep things straight. They get a bottle of breast milk and vitamins each day. Sarah is trying to give them antibodies as long as she can. There are so many dirty bottles! We keep them in buckets to make them easier to store and wash.

Samantha's tank has sterilized water attached to it. We have to be careful. If it tips over, which can easily happen since it it top heavy, water runs up into her nose through the cannula. Mass panic immediately follows. Every day, we have to refill the oxygen tanks. There are two machines. One takes room air and converts it to pure oxygen. The other one pressurizes it and put it into the tanks. Both tanks have to run for about 7 hours to fill up one tank. There are three that we have to keep full. The machines really heat up the room.

In the meantime, it is rare for everyone to be happy; a baby is usually fussing about something. Isabella does not like to hear Jackson wailing. It makes her angry. She wants to be touching someone at all times. Sarah can fool her with a pillow, which is helpful. Jackson is less easily fooled. He just wants to be held. Once he gets upset, it is difficult, if not impossible to calm him down. Samantha is frustrated about the oxygen in her nose. It is cold, dry and uncomfortable. She calms down when she is held. She is still nervous about being touched. Since she is my primary responsibility, she gets a lot of attention. When I had to run to the store yesterday, Sarah took charge of her. Samantha cried most of the time because did not like being sent to "daycare" at all. She thinks she is a singleton. :) I guess you could call it "Quad Denial."

Callie is trying her best to get used to all of her siblings. She helps wash bottles. She also takes care of her twin girl baby dolls. At night, when Jackson's crying hurts her ears, she comes up to our room. The babies take so much time and attention. It has been hard on Callie. She has been acting out lately, so she has been spending some time in the corner. Today, I was looking at that corner and looking at the quads, when it occurred to me that before long we are going to need a bigger one. I am so glad that we will need a bigger corner. God has blessed us beyond words.

Thanks for praying.

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness.
Let the whole world know what he has done.
Sing to him; yes, sing his praises.
Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds.
Exult in his holy name;
rejoice, you who worship the Lord.
Search for the Lord and for his strength;
continually seek him.
Remember the wonders he has performed,
his miracles, and the rulings he has given,
you children of his servant Abraham,
you descendants of Jacob, his chosen ones.

He is the Lord our God.
His justice is seen throughout the land.
He always stands by his covenant—
the commitment he made to a thousand generations.

DVD Project

2010-11-14T22:48:00.000-05:00

Princess Callie/Prayer Request

2010-11-07T23:25:00.002-05:00

Callie was a princess for Halloween. She didn't like the scary costumes, but she LOVED the candy. She told me that the moon comes out so that the cows will go to bed. :)

Eric carved a pumpkin with extremely large teeth.

Pirate Devon's Bible Study group had a costume party.

Callie loves the Merry-Go-Round. She doesn't understand waiting in line, though. It's a good thing Papaw lets her ride as much as she wants.

Jackson is enjoying a rare, laid-back moment.

Miss Sammy Jo is sleeping and getting stronger.

Tom can hold two babies and carry on a conversation, complete with hand motions.

Tom and Isabella sleeping while the oxygen tank refills for Samantha.

We have given up all hope of sleep. Sarah and I are starting to get loopy. While Sarah was changing Landon's diaper in the middle of the night, she panicked because his boy parts were missing! She focused her eyes and looked closer. She had grabbed Isabella instead of Landon...

We are filming Part 2 of the pro-life documentary this week. Please pray that we can make a difference in the lives of people who have lost hope.

Thanks for praying!

Who can be compared with the Lord our God,
who is enthroned on high?
He stoops to look down
on heaven and on earth.
He lifts the poor from the dust
and the needy from the garbage dump.
He sets them among princes,
even the princes of his own people!
He gives the childless woman a family,
making her a happy mother.

Praise the Lord!
Psalm 113:5-9

Two Months Old/Quite a Love Story

2010-10-27T23:58:00.001-04:00

Quads—Two Months Old

The quads are two months old. It is hard to believe they have been here that long. This summer is still fresh in my mind. I never thought that I would miss the long drive to the hospital, but sometimes I do.

Since we live out in the country, I am used to driving at least one-half hour when I go somewhere. I normally use that time to clear my head, turning my worries into conversations with God. Now that I am home with demanding children (as well as Callie and the quads), I have to create time and space alone. Eric’s room would be a good place to hide, but it makes me sad to go in there. Outside is good, weather permitting. Right now I am at the kitchen table with headphones on. You do what you have to do.

A Love Story (Part I)

When I held Sarah in my arms for the first time, I wondered what God had in store for her. She was so fragile and precious. I knew God had a plan because it was a miracle that we had her in the first place. I had toxemia and was on bed rest for several weeks. I didn’t feel sick; I just had to rest on one side. When I finally went into labor, the doctor told me he wanted to do a C-section. I was disappointed. I felt like a failure. But I had been praying for the doctor and decided to take his advice.

After she was born, he told me that I was very “lucky.” Apparently, there was no way I could have delivered Sarah naturally. Also, the cord was wrapped around her neck several times, so a normal delivery would have killed her. God knew, so He protected her.

Right away, Tom and I began praying specifically for every area of Sarah’s future. Those prayers included the person she would marry. I kept a list for her future spouse in my journal. I prayed for his family, his health, his purity, his salvation, his protection and his location. I even prayed that I would have a part in helping to raise my future grandchildren. I asked God to decide how many there would be. We didn’t know who Sarah’s husband would be or what he would look like, but we knew he was out there somewhere. So we prayed.

A Love Story (Part II)

Hundreds of miles away, a young woman was living in Boston. Her parents had named her Cathy, a fitting name that means “pure.” Sensitive and trusting, she was a pretty wisp of a girl, with long black hair and dark eyes. She was part of the hippy generation, but in the purest sense of the word: a beautiful flower child who was searching for love.

As it sometimes happens, Cathy found herself pregnant at fifteen. Scared and confused, she turned to her parents for help. They took her to get an abortion, a traumatic event that changed the fragile girl forever. She spent the next few years in a blur of bad relationships, becoming pregnant once again. Now that she was older, she took matters into her own hands and gave the child life. The baby was adopted by a loving couple. Still, the decision haunted her. She felt so lost, so alone.

A deep-thinking, complex man with brown curly hair and a contagious smile was the next person in Cathy's life. He was a gifted athlete who had once made the Celtics try-outs. He was packed with personality, strength and potential; he made her smile. He seemed to be the one she was searching for, but he was too good to be true. Tragically, he was addicted to drugs, and he introduced Cathy to the numbing force of heroin.

For years afterward, Cathy lived with her lover and her drugs. Soon she was expecting again. This time she was determined to keep the child, in spite of her addiction. Conceived with love, her sweet baby boy was born in the spring. With brown, curly hair and a contagious smile, he looked like his father. She named him Antonio after his dad, but called him “Tony.” She loved him more than life itself.

Life in the projects was not easy for a child of heroin addicts. Overdoses and ambulances were routine for the little boy, who experienced the unspeakable. Tony was an intelligent child, so he learned how to survive. In the midst of all the drama, however, some things were normal. He developed a close relationship with his grandpa, who made him a devoted Red Sox fan. Like other children his age, he played, he learned, he laughed, he cried, he grew, and he loved.

The plans that Tony's dad had made for their future would not come to pass. One miserable day, the little boy learned that his father had overdosed on heroin and died. Tony and his mother were alone. Tony was only six years old.

Fortunately, Cathy was a survivor. She was stronger than anyone knew. The whole time she had been searching for love, God was watching, keeping, caring. He reached down into the dark places of Boston, surrounded her, and drew her out.

God brought a good man into her life who loved her strong but gentle spirit. He also loved her son. They married. One day they learned that God sent His only Son to die on the cross to make them pure and save them from their sins, so they gave Him their hearts. Everywhere she went, God went before her to shield her way. Now nothing could ever separate Cathy from the love she had been searching for her whole life. No longer bound, Tony’s mother was beautiful and free, both inside and out.

Cathy's husband adopted Tony and raised him as his own. A job transfer brought the growing family from Boston to Ohio. They moved into a farm house that was down the road from mine. I met Tony and his parents when they attended the homeschool support group that I was leading. I was in awe of their beautiful testimony of God's redeeming love, but I had no idea that I was part of it.

Tony started working for Tom. It became obvious to all of us that he had fallen for Sarah. He called one day for permission to court her. My first instinct was to refuse; Sarah was only sixteen. Before the words could leave my mouth, God cautioned me. “You have prayed for the person Sarah will marry all these years. Now it’s time to trust Me.” I went up to my room and took out my prayer journal, slowly turning to the page about Sarah. I ran my finger down to the place where I had requests for her future husband. Next to the entry I wrote “Tony.”

Tony and Sarah were inseparable all through high school. Tony went away to college in Florida and lasted exactly thirty-six days before he came back home. After that, Sarah and Tony attended the same college here in town. When Tony proposed, Tom told Sarah that she should wait until she graduated to marry. She did. She married one week afterward.

A Love Story (Part III)

Sarah was born to be a mother. When she was little, she took good care of her brother and sister. Naturally, she was eager to have children of her own. After two years, she started to get worried. She and Tony went to the doctor for advice and tests. The news was heartbreaking. Tony’s difficult past had come back to hurt him. Heroin damages unborn children. It especially affects a child’s reproductive organs. There was not much hope.

They followed the doctor’s prescription, and then waited and prayed. One month later, Sarah learned she was expecting a child. The doctor was amazed. Callie was born in the spring and had curly hair, just like her father. She is a beautiful picture of God’s restoring love for His children. How could we ask for more?

When Callie was almost three, Tony wanted to give Callie a brother or a sister. They went back to the doctor. This time, things didn’t work out. Month after disappointing month, the news was the same: no baby. They knew they should be thankful that they had been blessed with one child. It just seemed like their family wasn't complete.

The doctor visits were expensive and uncomfortable. Eventually, Sarah faced the possibility that she was only meant to have one. She surrendered her desires and decided that God knows best. When Tony wanted to try one last time, Sarah agreed. They went back to the doctor and waited.

When it was time, Sarah took the pregnancy test. It was negative. She called me, sounding resigned. “I’m not pregnant. I guess that’s it.” She didn’t need comforting, but I tried to make her feel better anyway. I wanted her to trust God’s plan, even if it wasn’t hers. I reminded her that we had Beach Waterpark passes. It would be a fun summer.

Two days later Sarah woke up feeling incapacitated by nausea. She took another test. This time there was no question--Sarah was pregnant! Before long we learned that the couple who couldn’t have children was expecting not one but FOUR babies. Quadruplets!

The book of Joel says, “And I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten.” With each of Sarah's pregnancies, God overcame sin’s destruction. In a sense, the quads have changed Tony's history. In a way we couldn’t foresee or imagine, God created an impossible legacy that restored what drugs had taken away. And if that wasn’t enough, God used a pro-life documentary to encourage people all over the world to pray for the quads. Overnight, God gave Tony a praying Christian family that takes the rest of us generations to acquire.

I often wonder-- if Tony could find his father’s family, what would they think of his story? I imagine that somewhere in Tony’s past, someone was quietly praying for the dark-eyed beauty and her brave little son.

Cathy had a heart for God from the time she was small, but she didn’t know how to find Him. So God came to her. He watched over her and Tony the whole time that we were praying for Sarah’s future husband. God went before Tony to protect him and guide him. All that time, God was loving Cathy and making a way to give her the desires of her heart. She had finally found the purest, most perfect love there is. Now that’s quite a love story.

At The Cross
(Darlene Zschech)

Oh Lord You've searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done

Another Visit to the Eye Doctor/ Learning to Trust

2010-10-23T23:56:00.005-04:00

Great-Grandma Stella has no problem holding her grand babies. I can't wait to watch her trick for feeding and changing all four. Maybe I'll learn something!

Great-Grandpa Bob is happy to hold just one at a time.

With oxygen going in the house, we had to go outside for Devon's birthday candles.

When (and if) the babies are occupied, it is "Mommy Time" for Callie.

Jackson went back to the eye doctor. Jackson hates the eye drops and the procedure to check his eyes. The whole thing is very uncomfortable. After the last visit, his eyes stayed dilated for two days! His eyes are maturing, but aren't there yet. The doctor is hopeful that he will do well, as long as he doesn't get sick. If he does, his progress will likely regress.

Samantha has to be seen next. She is at risk for ROP (Retaniopathy of Prematurity) because of the oxygen and being septic.

We heard good news yesterday! Samantha is approved for the monthly RSV shots through the entire cold/flu season. Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) is the #1 cause of hospitalization in babies under a year of age in the U.S. The reason the shots must be repeated monthly is that they are not vaccinations. They are medication that reduces the severity of RSV. If preemies do get RSV, the shots should help them just get cold symptoms that full-term babies get instead of winding back up in the hospital with life-threatening respiratory distress. The shots are terribly expensive. We are hoping that insurance will follow the NICU's recommendation and cover the other three babies as well. So far, they are only approved through January. Please pray that they will be approved.

Lack of sleep and demanding babies has lulled us into a mind-numbing routine, so we forget how dangerous the common cold can be to preemies. We are trying to follow the doctors' advice, but it is difficult. There are so many decisions that have to be made daily. For example, Callie is not supposed to be around groups of children in order to avoid exposure to illness, but she LOVES going to church. She has had to miss several birthday parties, which she also loves. I keep telling myself that we are all making sacrifices, but it is hard to know what is best. I have a hard time balancing faith and action. I know God is in control, but I also know that I have to discern His plan for me each day.

Years ago, I learned an interesting lesson about faith, and I learned it from--of all things--a dog. I was in a weekly Bible study with a friend who had a beautiful female boxer named Whitney. Since my friend and her husband worked long hours, Whitney spent her days in a cage. When she came out of her cage in the evening, she had energy to burn. In spite of that energy, every week that I sat at the table for the study, Whitney would come sit beside me and put her head in my lap. Apparently, we had a connection. I was raised with a boxer, so I am partial to the breed. For some reason, Whitney was partial to me.

Sadly, my friend was getting a divorce and moving. She asked me to take Whitney. I didn't want another dog, but I couldn't say no. Whitney joined our family. She was a typical boxer--spirited, protective, loyal, energetic, strong and smart. She could catch a football mid-air and play keep-away. If someone ran from her, she would take him out at the knees in a hilarious Boxer tackle.

She loved being turned loose on our mini-farm. She would chase the horses, antagonize the goats and run as if her life depended on it. We hated leaving the house because Whitney would find a way to break out. Tom had to replace several windows after she crashed through them to escape. She didn't run away. She would just wait at the end of our gravel driveway for us to come home. She would chew on the windows sills, scratch the doors, and bite the doorknobs. Even ropes and chains couldn't hold her. She would break them like they were made of string. After life in a cage, this dog wanted to be free.

After much trial and error, we thought we had finally secured the house. We left for church, and returned to find her sitting in the driveway. We couldn't figure out how she was escaping. It was a mystery that our neighbor finally solved. One day, he stopped by in his pick up truck and said, "That's quite a dog you got there. Never seen one that can do what she does."

"What's that?" I asked.

"Jump off the roof. Seen her do it twice."

It was true. Whitney was going behind my bed, pushing out the window air conditioner, climbing out on the roof of our front porch, and jumping off. Incredible.

As a teacher, I am somewhat partial to my difficult students. I assume it is due to the amount of attention those students require. The same is true of my dogs. Whitney required lots of attention so she became my constant companion. I loved her.

One day we left for a family birthday. We returned late that night, expecting to find Whitney waiting by the driveway. She wasn't. We went inside and saw the answering machine blinking. The message was from our vet. Whitney had been hit by a car in front of our house. The speed limit was 55 mph.

I returned the call right away, even though it was 11:00 pm. Things were bad. He said, "Whitney's head is swollen to the size of a watermelon. Her eyes are completely dilated and she is sneezing bones out of her nose. She had a huge seizure, fell off the examination table and has been unresponsive ever since. I'm sorry, but she's brain dead."

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the door frame. "Why?" I wondered. "Why did I bring her home in the first place? Why couldn't this have happened months ago, before we became so attached?" My kids were anxiously watching my face, waiting for me to get off the phone to hear what had happened.

"Are you going to put her down?" I managed to ask.

"I don't think that's necessary. I'll save you the money." He was a farm vet, and he didn't mince words. "She isn't in any pain; she won't last through the night. Just call in the morning, and we'll decide what to do with her body."

I hung up the phone and delivered the bad news. Devon immediately burst into tears and ran over to Whitney's quilt, hugging the worn football. I sat down on the couch next to her, defeated.

After a few minutes, Devon sat up straight and asked a very interesting question. "Mom, why can't we ask God to heal Whitney?"

I looked at Tom. He shook his head and said, "You can handle this one." Devon was staring at me.

Stumbling over my words, I tried to explain. "Well, we can ask, Honey, but you need to prepare yourself. The Whitney we know is already dead."

Angry now, Devon cried and pleaded with me. "But Mom, you always say that God can do anything! You said that we are supposed to ask Him to help us and that He can move mountains. Why can't we ask God to heal Whitney?"

I took a deep breath and sank into the couch. It was bad enough that I would have to bury my dog in the morning, but now I would also have to explain difficult spiritual areas to my children that I barely understood myself.

It was late. I was so tired. "Okay," I relented. "Let's ask Him to heal Whitney."

We prayed together as a family, a simple prayer asking God to heal Whitney. Devon smiled, wiped her eyes and went to bed. So did I, but I didn't sleep. I was dreading that phone call in the morning.

As soon as my alarm went off, I called the vet. "Should we come now to get her body?" I asked.

Sounding puzzled, he answered, "Well, I'm not sure why, but Whitney is still alive. Let's just give it a few more hours before we put her down. Nothing has changed since last night."

"Okay," I replied. Then I asked, "Can I come see her for a few minutes?"

He reluctantly agreed. "It's not pretty," he warned.

I grabbed Whitney's quilt and my keys, threw the dog blanket in the back seat of my car, and drove to the vet. I'm not sure why I went. I guess I just didn't want her to die alone in a vet's cage. Maybe I wanted her to know that we loved her. I regreted that I hadn't kept her safe.

The receptionist looked up at me with sad eyes and took me to the back of the building. It was a pole barn that contained large shower-like stalls. Whitney was about four stalls down. She was unconscious and sprawled awkwardly on a rubber woven mat on the cold floor. Her head was swollen to twice its normal size. There was blood and brain fluid running from her nose and mouth that made a long trail to a nearby drain in the floor. "I'm so sorry," murmured the receptionist, patting my arm. Her footsteps echoed loudly as she walked away. She closed the door and left me alone with Whitney.

Slowly, I sank down on the floor and carefully covered Whitney with her quilt. There was no response. I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes. That's when I realized I wasn't alone in the building after all. God was speaking to me. He said, "Ask me to heal her."

Angry now, I opened my eyes and blinked back tears. I didn't want to ask God to heal this dog.

To be honest, every time I thought about asking God to heal anyone, I felt cold. My dad had been sick since I was sixteen. He had suffered terribly. In spite of my fervent prayers, God had not healed him. As a matter of fact, Dad kept getting worse, living with pain that would have broken most men. Dad never complained. He just kept serving God and encouraging me to do the same.

"I am NOT going to ask You to heal a stupid animal when I have been begging You for years to heal my dad!" I whispered as I rubbed my sleeve across my nose.

Patiently, He said it again. "Ask me to heal her."

I exhaled deeply. I knew better than to keep arguing. I am a first-born, after all. I placed my hand gently on Whitney's back and clenched my teeth. "Please. Heal her," I asked. The instant I spoke, I felt something melting inside of me, just like a large block of ice under a heater. There had been something cold inside of me, and I hadn't even realized it was there. But God did.

Whitney hadn't moved a muscle. I wasn't even sure that she was breathing. Emotionally spent, I stood up, walked out, and drove home.

Early the next morning, the phone rang. It was the vet. "You might want to come see this," he said. Tom and I jumped in the car and rushed over. We couldn't believe what we saw. Whitney was sitting up in her stall. The vet said, "She's blind and deaf and her face is crushed, but she's alive. I don't get it." I told him about Devon's prayer. He said, "All I know is that this is a miracle."

While the vet was talking to Tom, I was watching Whitney. Each time Tom spoke, she jerked her head around trying to find his voice. She could hear, and she recognized his voice.

Every day after that, Whitney got a little better. Even her sight returned. After a week, we brought her home. The kids were so excited. "Whitney!" exclaimed Devon when she saw her. She ran over and hugged the dog for a long time. "See Mom? I told you God could heal her."

Whitney kept improving until we had our horse-chasing, runner-tackling Whitney back. She went on to live a normal lifespan. The accident left her with teeth that were crooked from her swollen head. I think it was a reminder so I would never forget what God had done. He not only healed a brain-dead dog, but He also healed a long-dead place in my heart.

God had a lesson for me to learn: He could have healed my dad in a heartbeat--just like He healed Whitney--if it were part of His plan. But it wasn't. His plan for my dad was different and greater than anything I could imagine. I just needed to trust Him.

My dad also went on to live a normal lifespan. After living his life as a hero of the faith, he died on February 26, 2008. Devon and Eric sang this song at his funeral:

I Will Lift My Eyes by Bebo Norman

God My God, I cry out
Your beloved needs you now
God be near, calm my fear
And take my doubt
Your kindness is what pulls me up,
Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the maker of the mountains
I can't climb
I will lift my eyes
to the calmer, of the oceans
raging wild
I will lift my eyes
to the healer, of the hurt
I hold inside

I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to you

God my God let mercy sing
her melody over me
God right here all I bring is all of me
Your kindness is what pulls me up,
your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes
to the maker, of the mountains
I can't climb
I will lift my eyes
to calmer, of the oceans
raging wild
I will lift my eyes
to the healer, of the hurt
I hold inside

cause you are
and you were
and you will be forever
The lover I need to save me
Cause you fashioned the earth
and Hold it together
God so hold me now

I will lift my eyes
to the maker, of the mountains
I can't climb
I will lift my eyes
to calmer, of the oceans
raging wild
I will lift my eyes
to the healer, of the hurt
I hold inside

God My God, I cry out
your beloved needs you now

Thanks for praying.

Three Peas in a Pod/A Letter

2010-10-16T23:17:00.001-04:00

Three Peas in a Pod--A, B, & C--They all prefer sleeping on their left sides, but we have to keep turning them so they won't get flat heads. They are stubborn! Landon is so strong he just flips back the way he started.

We have found that a nursing pillow works well to give these three "tummy time." It is shaped like a "C," so it snuggles them well. We have to watch them the whole time that they are on their bellies to make sure they don't smother. Samantha can stay on her tummy all of the time since she is on a monitor. The doctor said that by the time she is off the oxygen,she will be strong enough to turn away from the pillow.

We are trying to get them off the hospital pacifiers. We want to switch to ones that are more readily available, color coded and dentist friendly. It isn't working. They LOVE the vanilla-scented "boo-boos."

Samantha had another doctor visit. The neonatologist was pleased that she is doing better now that we turned up the oxygen. She gained weight, which is encouraging. We are having a problem with her nasal cannula. When Samantha pulls it out, the tape comes with it, leaving her skin raw. She is a very determined little girl! Tom has been helping me with her at night. She is very content when Papaw feeds her. She is so tiny in his big arms. Precious!

Samantha prefers to sleep in the nursing pillow. It must make her feel warm and secure to have the "arms" around her at night.

We have to switch and fill her oxygen tanks every day. It is a major, time-consuming production! The spare tank doesn't have water attached, so her nose gets very dry while we are filling the big tank. She gets frustrated when her nose is stuffy. There is not much we can do, other than use saline drops called Little Noses. If she gets too congested, we have to take her to the emergency room.

When (and if) the babies are occupied, it is "Mommy Time" for Callie.

Sarah had her six-week check up with the obstetrician. He was very pleased with her progress. She has lost all but 15 pounds of her pregnancy weight. I guess she was all baby. The doctor said that Sarah is one of the best multiples moms he has ever had. He was pleased that she was so easy-going, she put up with a lot, and she didn't complain in spite of difficult circumstances. She is also welcome to come back to their practice if she ever has another child, although he said he would probably refer her for a psych evaluation if she does. He said, "I don't have many heroes, but you are one of them."

At the end of the visit, the OB said that he is going to write a letter to the first doctor to inform him that Sarah delivered four babies, and that they are all healthy.

Thanks for praying.

"Tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:3-4

40 Weeks Today/ Life is Good

2010-10-11T23:58:00.002-04:00

We had a visit to the neonatiologist. It was quite a production, but we pulled it off.

Landon (A)is 6 lbs. 12 oz. and 19 1/4". He is the longest of the four.

Jackson (B)is 5 lbs. 12 oz. and 18 3/4". He is no longer the smallest quad. He has passed up Samantha!

Isabella (C)is 6 lbs. 15 oz. and 19". She still weighs the most.

Samantha (D)is the tiny one now. She is 5 lbs. 10 oz. and 18 1/2 ".

Almost Ready to Go

Transporting Samantha

Sarah in the Warner Brothers van that Tony's parents bought for them. Hooray! They all fit!

Callie was excited to go back to Good Sam. "I love the hospital!" she said. I guess it feels like home after being there all summer. She knows all the nurses.

She seemed so small before the quads were born. Callie is growing up very quickly.

We decided to put the girls in one stroller and the boys in another. It was easier than carrying the car seats.

The boys

The visit was crazy with so many babies. We took up two examination rooms. I was in one and Sarah was in another. My mom sat outside and fed whoever was crying. Callie ran back and forth between the two rooms. The doctor, nurses, and occupational therapists were very helpful and patient. They know the quads since they took care of them in the NICU. They are the best!

Samantha's oxygen was turned up to prevent her desats. I hope it works. We noticed right away that her color is better and she eats more. The doctor said it might be a few months before we can wean her off the oxygen.

Guess who was discharged from the regular neonatologist visits? Our little rock star, of course! Jackson doesn't have to come back until his gestational age of 6 months, or April. The other three are still coming in regularly.

Jackson does have eye appointments every two weeks. He is at risk for retiniopathy of prematurity due to his birth weight, as is Samantha due to the oxygen. Please pray for Jackson's and Samantha's eyes.

Since we were on the same floor, we stopped by Sarah's home for the summer on our way out: Special Care Obstetrics. The nurses wanted to finally meet the babies they took care of for so long. We sure do miss everyone!

The babies are 40 Weeks today! This is the actual due date of the quads. I was looking back at some of my first posts to this blog. I was so worried and shocked. These 40 weeks have been some of the hardest I have ever been through, but God took care of us. We have experienced so many emotional extremes, and it is not over yet.

When I think back to the time when Sarah could first feel the babies move, I remember how she could tell what each child was like almost from the beginning. She was right. They are exactly like she said they would be.

Landon (A) is very laid back. Nothing seems to bother him. He is last to be fed because he is so patient. He is more alert and aware than the others. He has big eyes that stare at me intently when I feed him, as if he is trying to figure me out. If and when he does cry, we know something is up.

Jackson (B)is not easy going or patient. We have decided that he doesn't mind being a quad as long as he is the center of attention. He cries loudly until someone picks him up, and then a miracle happens--instant silence. He is small but his lungs are BIG. He likes to watch football with his dad or papaw.

Isabella (C) is the most high maintenance. She has a high-pitched, ear-piercing wail that sounds like some kind of injured animal. She also demands immediate attention in a different way. She holds her breath until she turns blue. She also projectile vomits, so we MOVE when she cries, and fast. It is a toss up about who is the loudest between Jackson and Isabella. They usually cry together, so the volume is incredible. On the other hand, Isabella is sweet and cuddly, especially when she gets her way.

Samantha (D) is more laid back than Jackson and Isabella, but is not as patient as Landon. The jury is still out on Sammy Jo, because she is not wireless like her siblings. If she cries, she desats (either oxygen level is down or heart rate is up, or both), so we have to keep her happy day and night. She is the smallest and is very frail. Her cry is lower and more pitiful than Isabella's. She knows what she wants. She, along with all of her equipment, sleeps in our bedroom. When she is ready for bed, she fusses until we caravan her and her machines up the stairs and into bed.

Callie is having a time of transition. Her little world has changed. She is good about helping with the babies: getting diapers, getting wipes, getting bottles, getting burp cloths. It's a good thing she loves to help.

My life has changed, too. Right now I am holding a baby with my left arm, swinging another baby with my right foot, and typing with one finger. It's not easy. I measure my days by three-hour feedings, and I long ago lost track of how many diapers I've changed. The crying doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would, but not going to work bothers me more.

John Stott says, "It is a mistake to be in a hurry or to grow impatient with God. It took him about 2,000 years to fulfil his promise to Abraham in the birth of Christ. It took him 80 years to prepare Moses for his life work. It takes him about 25 years to make a mature human being. So then, if we have to make a decision by a certain deadline, we must make it. But if not, and the way forward is uncertain, it is wiser to wait. I think God says to us what he said to Joseph and Mary when sending them into Egypt with the child Jesus: 'Stay there until I tell you.' In my experience more mistakes are made by precipitate action than by procrastination."

I have been too busy for too long, and I know it. God has arranged for me to slow down for awhile, if you can call this slowing down. I am right where I need to be. On the bright side, I did put on make up today. Life is good.

Thanks for praying.

"Let the peace that comes from Christ control your thoughts."
Colossians 3:15

Samantha-A Full-Time Job/The Desires of My Heart

2010-10-06T23:51:00.003-04:00

We thought we had it all figured out with three of the quads home. It was easier than we thought. We even had a workable schedule that we could live with. Then Samantha came home.

Her oxygen requirements make her a full-time job. Fortunately, Samantha is easy-going, like Landon. She doesn’t fuss or demand attention. She does, however, rip out her nasal cannula every five seconds. Without it, her oxygen levels drop and the alarms go off. We have to keep track of her heart rate. We have to make sure her oxygen tanks are full, hydrated and correctly attached. We have to keep her oxygen sensor in the right place and move it each day so her skin won't get irritated. Although we are glad she is home, Samantha is a lot of work. Basically, we just moved her little NICU cubicle home. The oxygen guy came to set things up, and now we do the nursing.

At night, Sarah takes three babies. I get Samantha. Neither one of us gets more than an hour or two of sleep at a time. I am not a napper, but lately, I could fall asleep anytime, anywhere. There are some advantages to no sleep. First, it doesn’t really matter when I go to bed, since I don’t sleep long anyway. My bedtime is fluid. Second, closing my eyes for five minutes while I hold a baby gives me enough energy to keep going for hours. If only I could get five of hours of sleep at one time, I would be invincible!

My mom is a work horse. She cooks, cleans, babysits and does windows. Sometimes I just stare at her energizer-bunny ways and wonder how she managed to be born caffeinated.

The quads are oblivious to our sleep-deprivation. They sleep all day and wake up at night. They do better if we put them together. Two per swing works out comfortably.

Baby B--Jackson and Baby D--Samantha

The doctor suggested that we put them in the middle of things during the day to correct their day/night mix up. She said the noise would keep them awake during the day. As you can see, it is working quite well. :) We need night vision in order to see their eyes open.

Baby A--Landon and Baby C--Isabella

Tom surprised me with roses! They are so beautiful. He has been a big help since the quads came-- doing the grocery shopping, entertaining Callie and holding babies. He cheers me on when the alarms go off all through the night, thanks very much.

When Tom and I got married, I never dreamed that one day we would be the grandparents of quadruplets. I had no idea what the future would hold. I knew it wouldn't always be easy, but I did know without a doubt that Tom was right for me.

My parents and grandparents gave me a precious gift when I was born. They began praying that I would marry the right person and that God would be with my future husband. It made sense to me. God has a plan for my life. His plan is best. He must have someone picked out for me to fulfill that plan. So I purposed to marry only if I had the blessing of my parents.

I decided to be proactive. I told the Lord that I wanted to have some input. I tore a piece of paper out of my notebook and made a list of ten items that I wanted in my future husband. It looked like this:

What I Want in a Husband:
1. Someone who loves God. (I wanted to marry a Christian.)
2. Someone who loves kids. (I wanted someone who enjoyed working with kids and spending time with our children.)
3. Someone who loves music. (I always had a thing for musicians.)
4. Someone who loves my family. (My family is very important to me.)
5. Someone who has a sense of humor. (I love to laugh.)
6. Someone who is strong. (So he could help me rearrange the
furniture.)
7. Someone who is generous. (So we could help others.)
8. Someone who is tall. (So I could wear high heels.)
9. Someone who is stronger willed than I am. (I come from a line of strong women. We need boundaries or we will take over the world!)
10. Someone with brown hair and blue eyes. (I explained to God that this request was totally optional because it was almost ridiculous to be so picky. If a guy has the first nine, then I shouldn't care what he looks like. But I asked anyway.)

I folded my list in half, stuck it in my Bible, and went on with my life.

Time passed. Believe it or not, I had a couple of marriage offers. But I was waiting for someone. I wasn't sure who he was or where he lived, but I knew he was meant for me.

My junior year of college, I transferred to Miami University and was busy with classes. One cold, snowy night as I was walking to the library, I saw a young man coming toward me. He was broad shouldered and ruggedly handsome. He reminded me of someone I had gone to elementary school with. My heart skipped a beat when the Lord spoke to my heart: "That is the man you are going to marry.” Was I losing my mind? I had heard that too much studying can make a person go crazy. I decided not to tell anyone and forget about it.

My brothers and sisters came up for the weekend, and we all went to the Christian Coffee House. When we walked in, I stared in disbelief when I realized that the guy running the sound board was the same person I was trying to forget. My brother noticed my interest, walked right up to the guy, and blurted, "I think my sister likes you." WOW. Can brothers be any more annoying? I was mortified.

During a break in the music, the good-looking/broad-shouldered/I think we went to elementary school together/I'm hearing voices about you/running the sound guy CAME RIGHT OVER TO ME! He introduced himself. It was the boy from elementary school and he remembered me. He said, "Hi! Your brother told me your were here. Your name is Sondra, right? What’s your major?"

Embarrassed, I replied, "Education."

He smiled and said, "Hey, I am in the Big Brother/Sister Program, and it would look good on your resume if you got involved. If you want to give me your number, I will call you to tell you more about it." So I gave him my number and we left.

One week later, Tom called me. We talked for hours, but he never once mentioned the Big Brother/Sister Program.
We were rarely apart from that day on. I called my parents to tell them that I was falling for a boy at school. My mom said, "That’s funny! Your dad and I have been praying and we feel like he is the one that God has for you."

When Tom asked me to marry him, I remembered The List. I went home and pulled it out of my Bible, curious how Tom would measure up to my childish requests. It was almost unbelievable.

1. He loved God and was raised in the same faith.
2. He loved kids. His younger sister accompanied us everywhere.
3. He loved music. He played piano and sang in church.
4. He loved my family and spent a lot of time at my house.
5. He had great a sense of humor and kept me smiling.
6. He was strong! If I annoyed him, he would pick me up, move me to the other side of the room, and leave me there.
7. He was generous, more so than anyone I had ever met.
8. He was 6'3" tall, a basketball player, and a good one!
9. He was definitely stronger willed than I. (Why on earth did I put that on the list?)

Now, all of these items were pretty incredible, if you ask me. It was as if the list had floated up to Heaven and God used it to create a custom-made man. But the first nine things were not what really "wowed" me. It was number 10 that brought tears to my eyes.

You see, Tom has a full head of brown hair. But that’s not all. He has the most gorgeous blue eyes I have ever seen. He won a contest with those eyes. They are what is called "broken blue," an unusual color that looks like broken blue glass.

After all these years, I am still humbled by the fact that the Creator of the Universe took the time to hear and answer my prayers. God not only honored my practical requests, but He gave me the desires of my heart--just because I asked.

We married the week after I graduated.

Thanks for praying, and if you think of it, please pray for the spouses of Callie and the quadruplets. I can’t wait to see what God does next.

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

Doctor Visit/Too Tired to Write

2010-10-04T23:59:00.001-04:00

The great-grandmas helped us at the doctor. It was quite a production!

Quad A- Landon weighs 6 lbs. now. He is in the first percentile.

Quad B- Jackson weighs 5 lbs. He is in the zero percentile.

Quad C- Isabella is 6 lbs. She is in the zero percentile.

Quad D- Samantha weighs 5 lbs. She is in the zero percentile.

The doctor was impressed with their weight gain. We feed them every 3 hours. He called Jackson "Peanut," and said that babies this size never survived when he first began his practice.

We have three doctor appointments this week. Please pray that all will go well.

Too tired to write any more (Yawn). Time to feed the babies again.

Thanks for praying!

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Psalm 74:25

Samantha's HOME/Tell the World

2010-09-30T00:38:00.026-04:00

After a frustrating lack of success, the doctors decided to quit trying to get Samantha off the oxygen. Instead, they began working on getting her home. Their decision to turn up her oxygen to 100% was what she needed. She began eating well and her color improved. At last, she was ready to leave the NICU.

Children's Hospital sent out the oxygen guy to train us and scare us to death. There is so much to remember and to worry about--no flames, no gas, no alcohol, no petroleum jelly, no sparks. We thought it was crazy around here before! Per Children's suggestion, we notified the fire department/medic team that a preemie infant on oxygen was coming home so they would be prepared.

We went to the hospital for the long discharge process. When the time came, Samantha was unplugged from the hospital machines she has known all of her life and plugged into our portable ones. Scary!

It was such a strange feeling to walk out of the NICU for the last time. I don't know what I was feeling; it was a strange combination of incredible relief, overwhelming fear and unbelievable sadness. In a weird way, this hospital has been our home for a while.

Goodbye Good Samaritan Hospital! I have been making the drive every day since the first part of June. The hospital has been such a blessing to our family, yet it has been so hard to go down each day. I will miss the people I have met there. I will also miss the comfort of having the best people in their fields to care of my family as if it were their own.

We were warned that it is very difficult for the NICU infants to transition to being home. They tend to be stressed, overstimulated and upset by the sudden change of environment and routine.

Samantha wasn't. She loved the car ride and settled in next to her brothers and sisters as if they had never been apart. The prayers of God's people are continuing to make an impact on her life in so many ways. God is working out His plan.

Sammy Jo is home and she likes it here.

When we got back, we sat around holding babies and remembering how close we came to losing Samantha. She is a miracle of God's loving care.

As long as I live,I will never forget what He did on her behalf, nor will I forget all the amazing people who asked God to help us. Incredible!

I'd say she looks glad to be home. I am not sure how she knows, but she does.

Tony was put to work at midnight on the day he was no longer quarantined. He's still smiling.

Papaw is pretty happy, too. The Cincinnati Reds are the NL Central Division Champs! This is a great week.

There was quite a celebration when we won the game. Tom's smile was something I wouldn't have wanted to miss.

We are having our own celebration--so many babies, so little time. We want to tell the world what God has done!

Thank you so very much for praying, from the bottom of our hearts.

Give thanks to the LORD and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his miracles.
1 Chronicles 16:8-9

Medicine Didn't Work/At Least One More

2010-09-26T00:42:00.003-04:00

Samantha was taken off her oxygen to see if the Lasix worked. She lasted about 2 minutes before she had to be put back on the oxygen. The medicine didn't work. Now the plan is to turn her up to 100% and see if she eats better.

The other three are waiting patiently for their sister to be able to come home. We need at least one more!

Thanks for praying.

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:16

Good News/Done Like a Thanksgiving Turkey

2010-09-23T17:31:00.006-04:00

I love good news! The doctors are happy and relieved to report that Samantha does NOT have a brain bleed, the large hole in her heart has closed on its own without medicine, and the small hole is expected to close as well. We are amazed and incredibly thankful for God's care and for everyone who is praying!

The resident and nurses finally explained more about Samantha's condition. Either they are just now figuring it out themselves, or I am learning to ask the right questions.

First-- once a preemie, always a preemie. Prematurity is a medical condition that stays with an individual for life. Complications of prematurity can show up for years, with some waiting until kindergarten to reveal themselves. Rather than frighten us with all of the possibilities, they prefer to eliminate the ones they can before the baby is discharged from the NICU.

Second-- it not unusual for a sick preemie to have one blood transfusion, but it IS unusual to have two. When that happens, they try to determine where the blood is going, ergo the brain test.

Third--it is not unusual for higher order multiples to have one baby that does poorly. The mother's body is stretched in more ways than one, so not everyone gets the same nutrients or antibodies. It IS unusual for quads to be carried for 33 weeks, to have 3 to 4 lb. birth weights, to come home in two weeks, and for the boys to do better than the girls. Sarah's experience is not typical; it is incredible.

Fourth--preemies that have Respiratory Distress Syndrome have lung disease, usually with scarring. Infections and oxygen after 36 weeks often leads to Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia or BPD. Samantha is 37 weeks and is requiring more oxygen instead of less. They are giving her heart medicine (diuretic) to see if that reduces her need for oxygen.

After being on oxygen therapy for a long time, BPD babies don't eat well. Samantha still has to be gavaged by feeding tube, although she took charge of her own health care and removed the tube herself yesterday. She needs to grow, but taking a bottle wears her out.

Samantha is more aware of being alone now. She cries a lot.

When I fed her, she took the whole bottle, and would probably have eaten more if it had been available. I can't wait to get her home, oxygen or not. Her lack of improvement is getting discouraging.

When I was little, my grandma told me I could count on God to make me feel better, no matter what. She said, "Honey, you need to ask God to help you whenever you need it." As time passed, I learned to be honest with God, telling Him if I felt hopeless, discouraged or alone.

One day, I asked God to remind me of His love in an unusual way. I asked Him to let me see a wild turkey. (I had never seen one before. I wasn't even sure what it would look like, so I looked it up. I was young. Give me a break.)

Shortly afterward, I was walking down the road when a wild turkey crashed landed almost on top of me. I couldn't believe it! God honored my ridiculous request. He obviously has a sense of humor.

After we learned about the possible brain bleed, I could feel myself sinking into depression. I KNOW discouragement is the devil's best tool. I KNOW he wants me to look at the circumstances around me so I will stop looking on the unseen Hand of God at work. But I was just plain tired of worrying. I want off this ride.

It was my turn to make the long drive to the hospital. I was driving around a curve and up the hill. I had to shift gears, which annoyed me because I was sleepy.

Suddenly, something came out of the woods and startled me. I slammed on the brakes, afraid it was a deer. It wasn't. It was a large wild turkey. He walked calmly into the road, stopped, and looked at me.

He had friends. I sat and waited while a whole flock of wild turkeys walked across the road, one by one. They all looked at me at they passed. That's when I remembered my childhood prayer for encouragement. I had forgotten all about it. God hadn't.

I could almost hear them gobbling to each other as they waddled by, "There she is! She's the one that needs a turkey to remember the power of the Almighty God! Embarrassing. If it weren't for her high maintenance issues, we could be in bed already."

I drove on feeling as if God had spoken directly to me. "Sondra--I remember, I see, I care, I know, and I love you!"

There's more.

Every time I have driven to the hospital this week, I have seen the turkeys. They always take their time. They always look at me, albeit somewhat irritatedly. I finally decided to take a picture so I would remember the awesome God I serve. He bottled up my childish prayer and pulled it out when I needed it. Incredible.

Last night, as I sat there waiting on the turkey parade to pass, I had to laugh. I said, "Okay, God. I'll stop now. I'm not only finished with this pity party, I'm DONE-- just like a Thanksgiving turkey."

Thanks for praying.

)

Callie Helping/Week 37

2010-09-23T14:33:00.012-04:00

------

Callie's Rollerblading/

2010-09-20T14:16:00.011-04:00

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Jackson's First Bath/Landon Loves the Outdoors

2010-09-20T14:12:00.011-04:00

Landon loves the outdoors.

Please Pray for Samantha/Bring on Those Giants

2010-09-20T14:00:00.004-04:00

Please pray for Samantha. Today, the doctors are checking her via MRI for brain bleed (can go along with that bleed out she had), echocardiogram of her heart for the two murmurs/status on hole/to see if she needs medicine, and x rays of her lungs to see about her oxygen issues.

When the resident called to tell us, Sarah sat quietly with big tears running down her checks and dropping on her shirt.

This battle that Samantha is facing has been so hard. We are not clear about her condition. The doctors give us facts but not opinions. Sometimes I wish I were a fly on the wall at their meetings. Apparently, they are not happy with her progress. We just don't know what they are thinking. Maybe it's better I don't.

Lately, I have been thinking about the true Bible account of the Israelites leaving Egypt on their journey to freedom. God tells Moses to send twelve spies into the Promised Land to check things out and develop a battle plan. These are people that have had front row seats to God's miracles. I love the Old Testament.

It is hard to believe, but ten come back with a bad report. They say, "We can't DO THIS! The enemies are giants, the kingdoms are too well fortified, and we will not be able to defeat them!" Remember this is right after they had witnessed the most incredible display of God's supernatural power that the world had ever seen. He had parted the Red Sea and sent the ten plagues to encourage Pharaoh to free His people. As soon as God sends a test, those same people doubt His power.

Now this is where the other two spies--Joshua and Caleb--come in. Numbers 13:30 tells us, "And Caleb stilled the people before Moses, and said, 'Let us go up at once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it.'" As a result, God tells Joshua and Caleb that they and the younger generation under 20 years of age would be the ones who would be able to go into the Promised Land because they had “wholeheartedly followed God.” They had full faith that God could defeat all of their enemies, regardless of big or scary or impossible they were. They believed God.

After all God has done for the quads, I am trying to keep a true perspective. I am thankful that Samantha is alive and doing as well as she is. I know that God has a plan for her life or she wouldn't be here in the first place. I know that God's will is what I would choose if I knew all the facts.

On the other hand, I want so much for Samantha to be well and come home. I shared that overwhelming desire with the resident, and it sounded almost as if I were pleading with her to do something. Instantly, I felt convicted. My granddaughter's life is in God's hands, and He is in control. He is working through these amazingly gifted people in the NICU, but He will direct the course of Samantha's life.

Afterward, I felt compelled to let the resident know this fact about us: "If things don't go the way we want them to, we will be okay. Our faith and God's love will see us through." It was hard to even speak the words, but they are true.

At the end of this battle, I want to be able to look back and know that I was like Caleb. I want to wholeheartedly serve the Lord all the time, not just when things are easy. Bring on those giants.

Thanks for praying.

Who shall ever separate us from Christ's love? Shall suffering and affliction and tribulation?

Calamity?

Distress?

Persecution?

Hunger?

Destitution?

Peril?

Sword?

Even as it is written, For Thy sake we are put to death all the day long; we are regarded and counted as sheep for the slaughter.

Yet amid all these things we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loved us.

For I am persuaded beyond doubt [I am sure]that neither

Death

Life

Angels

Principalities

Things impending

Threatening

Things to come

Powers

Height

Depth

Nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:35-39

Welcome Home Bella/Confidence Approaching God

2010-09-17T01:13:00.000-04:00

Isabella is home! She has big checks and beautiful skin. She looks so much like Sarah.

The nurses warned us that she is quite a diva, and they were right. She has discovered that she DOES have a mother. She wants Sarah to hold her all night long. Part of the problem may be that she has her days and nights mixed up. The NICU night shift is quite busy after dark--checking weights, changing clothes, baths, etc. Apparently, Baby C Bella is used to the nightlife.

We have a regular assembly line going for the babies. Jackson has been bumped; Isabella is fed first. There is no question who cries loudest!

We are amazed every time we remember how sick she actually was. It is a miracle to have her home at all, much less so soon.

Thanks for praying!

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him." (1 John 5:14-15)

TIRED with Two/What Am I Afraid Of?

2010-09-15T01:32:00.000-04:00

If Devon looks a little tired, it's because she is. No one sleeps at our house except the babies, and only two of them are here.

Sarah had a slight melt-down when the boys first came home, but she recovered quickly. We are all overwhelmed by their size. The babies are so tiny we are almost afraid to care for them. Then, there's the worry that they will get sick and end up back in the NICU or worse. I've washed and sanitized my hands so many times the skin is cracking off.

Although we prefer to feed babies on demand, we decided to follow the doctor's advice about keeping the quads on the same schedule they were on in the hospital. That means they eat every three hours at 12, 3, 6, and 9. Then it starts all over again. The routine goes like this:

1. Pick the loudest baby (Jackson).
2. Change his diaper quickly and hope he doesn't pee on Landon's head again.
3. Apply ointment to his circumcision is spite of his protests.
4. Re-sanitize hands.
5. Re-snap 50 to 100 snaps on his onesie and sleeper. Re-snap if lack of sleep makes them appear crooked.
6. Re-wrap him snugly in his receiving blanket so he will feel secure and stop
wailing.
7. Put his hat on to keep his body temperature up.
8. Re-sanitize hands.
9. Make bottle--breast milk has to be warmed and fortified. Special Care Formula from the hospital can be served "as is." Re-sanitize after touching refrigerator handle.
10.Get a burp cloth and tuck it around his neck.
11.Turn him slightly away, hold the bottle at an angle, help him get a suction
around the nipple. Watch for rapid breathing breaks,dusky color, sleeping, and air bubbles.
12.Attempt to burp him. Try to get him to take his minimum and more before twenty minutes are up. After that, he needs to rest again.
13.Burp him again.
14.Take him back to his bed and change his clothes if he threw up.(Yes,re-snap.)
15.Re-wrap him with arms in so he will fell secure.
16. Place him on his side or back and cover him with his snoodle.
17. Give him his vanilla-scented pacifier.
18. Put the hat on his head again.
19. If he emits any offensive noises, go back and repeat numbers 2 through 8.
19. Re-sanitize hands.
20. Clean up/restock bottles, diapers,and burp cloths.
21. Celebrate quietly. Done with Baby One.

At first, we both got up to feed the boys around the clock. Once, when I rolled out of bed again at 3:00 AM, Tom sleepily observed, "You guys are going about this all wrong. You need to take turns." I wanted to throw a diaper at his head, but decided to try his unsolicited advice instead. I grudgingly admit that I function much better on 5 hours of sleep than I do on 3 or 4. I hate it when he is right.

If you are wondering how Tony has managed to avoid this routine, it is because he has a Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free Card. He was exposed to Chicken Pox and is not allowed to hold the babies for a couple of weeks. I choose to believe that it was not deliberate.

Yesterday, I changed Jackson three times during one feeding, and two of the diapers were poopy. Next, he loudly demanded to be held while I fed Landon, who was only wet while patiently waiting for his turn. Hmmm. Jackson THOMAS. Interesting. Makes one take pause.

Isabella might come home soon. We can't get over how BIG she is compared to the others. She is a whopping 5 lbs! She has a dimple in her cheek, just like Sarah.

One problem we have had with both of the girls is desaturation, or "desat." I don't understand much about it, but this is what we were told:

Oxygen saturation measures the amount of oxygen carrying hemoglobin in the blood. The blood of a full-term baby should be 95 to 100% saturated with oxygen. The blood of a premature baby receiving extra oxygen is usually maintained between about 88 and 95% saturation, not higher, to prevent retinopathy of prematurity, a serious eye condition that can result in blindness or very poor eyesight. (Jackson will be tested for that at Children's due to his small birth weight.) In the hospital, a little lighted instrument is strapped to each infant's foot to measure the amount of oxygen in his blood. When the blood does not have enough oxygen, it is called a desaturation. Desaturations can cause a bluish tint to the lips or skin and cause a baby to lose tone or become “floppy.”

Samantha looks dusky when she desats, which usually happens when she eats, cries, or gets picked up. Isabella desats when she eats or sleeps, but they think she just forgets to breathe. The girls are Desat Queens! It scares me to death, but the nurses do not seemed surprised by the alarms. They patiently remind me that the girls aren't supposed to be born yet. The girls need time to mature.

When the alarms go off, I feel like I am desating with them. I have to remember to breathe!

Samantha likes to be held under my chin. It is hard to hold her with all the tubes and wires, but I am getting better at it. It is amazing how quickly I have overcome my fear of dislodging something important in order to give her some much-needed snuggle time.

Samantha manages to take her pacifier even with the feeding tube in her mouth. They hope to move the tube to her nose when she moves from high-powered to regular oxygen.

After hearing the technical term for Samantha's bleed out after she became septic, I decided to break my own rule and research. What I learned increased my faith. We are blessed that Samantha survived that day. Apparently, the bleed out indicated that her organs were shutting down. God was with her the whole time, watching over the doctors and nurses who care for her. He was with us, too, helping us trust His love and plan.

During that critical time, many of Samantha's nurses made personal sacrifices to help. They stayed late, skipped meals and prayed. One nurse with a young baby of her own made the painful decision to skip pumping breast milk and her dinner in order to stay with Samantha. These incredibly gifted group of nurses, residents and doctors have become dear to us in so many ways. They treat our girls as if they were their own. How do we ever thank them for all they have done?

Sometimes, life is full of surprises, twists and turns. So much of what I experience is unexpected. Other times, God gently nudges and prepares us to get ready for the next assignment. When He does prepare me, I know that I am going to need that assurance to hang onto my faith because it's going to be rough. The NICU experience is one of those times.

While I prayed during Sarah's pregnancy, I kept feeling that God has many special people in the highly rated NICU unit who need to know how much He loves them. I didn't want the babies to be hospitalized. I knew there were multiples who had come home with their mothers shortly after delivery. I also knew that my grandchildren were not going to among those fortunate few. I was so sure that I warned Sarah, "Get ready, Honey. God is preparing us for a time in the NICU. He has work to do there."

The assurance that the girls are right where they need to be has made this ordeal bearable. However, I have to admit that I have driven home many late nights when I could barely see the road for my tears. Sometimes I am ashamed at my lack of faith when God has proven His love for me over and over again.

I have learned that I am weak when I am tired. I have also learned that things appear hopeless when the night falls, but they always look better in the morning.
God's Word reminds me that the Lord is the source of all light. He guides me and leads me. Darkness brings worry, trouble, and sorrow; light brings the opposite. Just as a sunbeam brightens a dark corner, God's light makes my troubles disappear. He delivers me. God is able to protect me, so I can confidently trust in Him. My best defense against fear or dread is the fact that God is my Protector. No one has power to take life away while He defends me. He has a plan. All of my surprises are not surprises to Him. We can do this together.

Sometimes, I find a warm sunbeam, close my eyes and stand in the middle of it. While the sun warms my face, I remember that God is my light and my salvation. With Him on my side, what on earth am I afraid of?

Thanks for praying.

The LORD is my light and my salvation--so why should I be afraid? The LORD is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?
Psalm 27:1

You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.Psalm 18:28

The Boys are HOME/Where They Need to Be

2010-09-12T23:35:00.002-04:00

The boys were circumcised and were NOT happy about it. The doctor explained that the surgery goes much easier on full term babies. He said it is almost as if there is a natural anesthetic at that point, and the procedure doesn't seem to bother them as much. On the other hand, getting "circed" is very painful for preemies.

We got a big surprise from the doctor. The boys get to come home! We didn't expect Jackson to be released for a while due to his size, but we should have known. After all, he is the "rock star" of the NICU.

It took much of the day to work through the discharge checklist. We had to watch all kinds of videos: feeding/changing/bathing/sleeping/sickness instructions, infant CPR, car seat instructions,and "Never, EVER shake a baby!" We were given recipes for fortifying breast milk and formula. The babies will need extra vitamins, iron and calories in order to catch up.

Since the babies are so small and premature, they will need to be quarantined. The doctor reminded us that they shouldn't even be here until the middle of October. She explained that any illness--even a common cold-- can be life threatening to a preemie, so we need to be vigilant in keeping the quads away from people for a while. Since they were diagnosed with Respiratory Distress Syndrome,the babies should be confined through the flu season. Although the idea is depressing, the fact that a common infection almost killed Isabella and Samantha will make it easier to follow.

The boys were too small for their car seats, so the nurse improvised. She rolled blankets to put on each side of them, and a washcloth to put under the clip between their legs. They just don't make car seats small enough.

Callie was so excited to finally take her brothers home. She says she is going to give her pacifier to Jackson. I'll believe that when I see it.

Sarah has four hospital bracelets to claim her babies. If the bracelets are removed, the whole hospital shuts down until the baby is located. We saw the emergency plan in action when a mom decided to remove her bracelet without permission. The hospital came to a screeching halt until she was located.

Believe it or not, these car seats are small. The boys just make them look big.

The girls are co-bedding now! So glad. Samantha needs to be with her sister.

Isabella forgets to breath when she is tired or eating. Her heart rate drops, alarms go off, and nurses come running. She takes about half of her feeding by bottle and the rest by feeding tube.

Samantha starts breathing rapidly when she is picked up or bothered. I wonder if she is afraid that something painful is coming, or if she just isn't used to being held? Whatever the reason, her oxygen has to be adjusted often.

Samantha has not been offered a bottle up till now due to the oxygen. She also has a feeding tube in her mouth, which hinders the sucking process. The nurse decided to try it anyway. Samantha took her first bottle!

If Samantha learns to take her bottles quickly, she will most likely be coming home on oxygen. Sarah is very concerned about the possibility. I will just be glad to have her home, even if she isn't wireless.

We have gotten to know, love and appreciate so many of the gifted caregivers in the NICU. We are able to share the story of the quads over and over. The main thing we let people know is that God watches, listens, cares and knows. He answers prayer.

Once again, we were reminded of God at work. The nurse said, "I can't believe Sarah made it so long. I especially can't believe the boys are going home after only two weeks! I have never seen that before with quads, and I have been here fifteen years. It just doesn't happen." Fortunately, it does with God.

Although we hated to do it, we had to leave the girls behind when we took the boys home. We know the girls are in good hands. For now, they are where they need to be.

Thanks for praying.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the LORD for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.” (Isaiah 55:8-13 KJV)

Cousins Find a Butterfly/Joy Comes in the Morning

2010-09-09T23:13:00.001-04:00

Callie and her cousin Cassie found a butterfly.

Callie and Sarah had a game that they played all summer. Whenever Callie saw Sarah's big belly, she would cackle. Now, she is confused about Sarah's disappearing stomach. She looked all around Sarah and asked, "Did Papaw take your belly?" Somehow, Tom ends up getting blamed for everything.

The boys love their pacifiers. The nurses dip them in sugar water.

Landon's Big Yawn
Apparently, we are keeping him awake.

Landon is a very light sleeper. Great. Time to break out the sound machine.

Isabella is waving to her mother. She is quite a snuggler.

Isabella removed her nasal cannula all by herself. Fortunately, the doctor decided it could stay out. Now, if she will just leave her feeding tube alone!

Samantha is still a sick little girl, but she is getting better every day. She starts to fuss when she hears Sarah's voice. She loves being held.

This verse says it all.

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Psalms 30:5

Thanks for praying!

Bengal Booties/God's Bowls

2010-09-08T23:58:00.001-04:00

Cousin Kathy made sure that the quads are ready for football season. Who Dey!

Landon(A) is very alert.He tries to find his mother when she talks. Sarah fed him a bottle and he sucked it right down. He is very strong. In order to keep the babies awake while feeding, they are held away from the body at an angle. The babies need to feel almost as if they are falling or they fall asleep.(I wish someone would have shared that trick with the rest of the class when my preemie (Eric) was born. That child slept through every feeding for a month after he came home. It was torture trying to wake him!) We are starting to wonder if Landon will be the first to come home.

Jackson is still the little "rock star." He has never given us any trouble. All the quads really like their pacifiers. (We call them "boo-boos." It's a family name my mother-in-law started when Sarah was a baby.) The nurses are surprised how well they hold in their pacifiers since they are so young. We explained that we have no problem getting babies to take them. It's the taking away that is the hard part!

Jackson does not like his beauty sleep disturbed. He prefers to "be and let be." Are clean clothes REALLY more important than sleep?

Weigh-ins are not appreciated, but necessary.

Isabella has not been feeding well, so the doctor sent in an occupational therapist, who awarded her with a confetti-filled bottle for finally finishing a feed. The nurse puts Isabella on Sarah’s chest for tube feeding. Isabella loves being held while she eats. They give her the pacifier so she will make the connection between sucking and food. The tube feedings, while necessary, can set preemies behind in learning to suck/swallow/breathe. Isabella is on oxygen because her levels drop when she is fed.

The nurses tell us that the boys are much more laid back than the girls. Great. Like we need any more drama.

I took Sarah down to the hospital for a late night NICU visit. While she was holding the boys, I heard a baby crying and wondered if it could be Samantha. Sure enough, it was. It is kind of sad that she has cried so much from all she's been through that I recognize that cry. I carefully picked her up, trying to avoid pulling on any tubes or wires, and put her under my chin. I wanted her to feel my heart beating.

One of the nurses warned us earlier that NICU babies don’t like rocking or patting or talking. On the other hand, my roommate from college (who had her own NICU preemie) told me the opposite. She said, “Tell Sarah to sit, hold, rock and pray with them as often as she can—good for the healing of the babies and for mom.” So I took a chance. Feeling like a rebel, I rocked, patted, and whispered. At the same time, I watched the monitors for red flashes and alarms--signs of respiratory distress that will bring the nurses running.

Samantha’s nurse was busy on the other side feeding someone else’s baby, so Samantha’s readings were being sent over to her on a split-screen monitor. After a few minutes, she called out, “I don’t know what you’re doing over there, Grandma, but keep it up. Samantha’s oxygen levels look GREAT!” I guess Judy was right.

The oxygen swooshing into Samantha’s nose is rather loud, as are the monitors that are constantly going off. No wonder the girls sleep more soundly than the boys. They are used to noise.

We were rocking in the dark a long time while it thundered outside the window. Every few minutes, lightning would flash and light up the NICU. It is amazing to consider God's power being so great that He commands the storms, yet He is gentle enough to care for a sick preemie. So many prayers have been prayed for Samantha and the quads.

One day, shortly before the quads were born, a casually dressed man with a well-groomed beard came to the hospital. He identified himself as a local pastor that had heard about Sarah. Something about his voice sounded so familiar, but his face brought no memories. "Where do I know him from?" I wondered.

Before I quit my jobs to help with the quads, I was on staff at my church. Sunday mornings kept me busy, so each week I would prepare my heart by listening to sermons on the radio. One of the local broadcasts features a preacher who is direct and down-to-earth. His sermons are practical and motivational. I finally figured it out. The voice in Sarah’s hospital room that day belonged to the same radio preacher I have been listening to every Sunday.

He said something that I will never forget. "The Bible tells us that God bottles up the prayers of the saints. All these prayers that have been prayed for the quadruplets will not be forgotten."

I know that God honors our prayers. They don’t just float up to Heaven and disappear, nor do they die when we do. But this pastor’s confident claim about God’s bottles intrigued me. I decided to do some research, and what I learned was fascinating.

The Bible compares our hearts to altars. From those altars, our prayers rise up to God like a sweet-smelling incense. Revelation 5:8 give us a glimpse inside Heaven. I learned that every prayer, every cry, and every heart’s desire is caught and bottled up in golden bowls. Psalms tells us that God even bottles up every tear. It may seem like our prayers are not always answered, but sometimes God is preparing blessings so great they can’t be ready in a day. Prayers are never lost or forgotten. They are actually treasured by God.

Thank you for praying for us. Your prayers must be broad-spectrum, like a powerful antibiotic. I see God at work every day--the babies surviving/improving/growing, encouraging emails just when I need them the most, so many opportunities to witness, my car "check engine" light fixing itself, caring friends giving clothes/coupons, my son's basketball scholarship, getting through our busy season, good parking spots in the scary hospital garage, and the strength to keep going every day. God bless you for filling up God's golden bowls on our behalf. Who knows what God has around the next corner for these prayer-covered kids! I can't wait to see it all unfold.

“And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints.” Revelation 5:8

Week 35/Callie Meets Her Siblings

2010-09-07T00:00:00.035-04:00

The Quads are 35 Weeks!

Callie

Callie, Devon and Jackson

Landon is 4 lbs. and Jackson is 3 lbs. They are learning to eat from a bottle.
They seem to enjoy co-bedding after being alone for several days. They grunt at each other and entertain their nurses. They have also started to follow the nurses with their eyes as they go about their routines. They have graduated to "grower" status, which means we are just waiting on them to mature enough to come home. They seem to be lighter sleepers than the girls. The nurses think it is because the girls are used to much more noise from the oscillators and all of the people working on them.

Callie Meets Her Brothers

Since the NICU was full when the quads came, the girls were initially placed in an isolation room. Now that they are stable, they have been moved over by the windows. I like the move for several reasons. First, the daylight allows us to see the girls better. The rest of the floor is very dim. Second, the isolation room has bad memories associated with it. I will never forget those dread filled days when we were wondering if the girls would survive. Third, the move means that the girls are improving and headed in the right direction.

Isabella is impressing her doctors with her progress. She is 4 lbs. The nurse removed her umbilical lines, but she is still on oxygen. She is finally able to be in a crib. Isabella is a pretty little thing.

Devon, Callie and Isabella

Samantha is 3 lbs. and is off c-pap. She is now using a high-powered nasal cannula for her oxygen. She still has her life-saving pick line and is on IV fluids. She is receiving fat (lipids) to help her gain weight. She is getting about 27 mls. of food through her stomach tube. An ounce is 30 mls. The nurse is going to change Samantha's feeding tube from her mouth to her nose so it will be easier to learn to take a bottle. Her head is a little misshapen and swollen from the c-pap, but it will look somewhat better each day. She had a sonogram today to make sure all is well. Please pray that her report will be a good one.

Devon, Callie and Samantha

All My Girls

The nurse told us that Samantha was crying and could not be comforted, so the nurse decided to hold Samantha, tubes and all. Samantha calmed down immediately and obviously loved being held for the first time. When Sarah came to see Samantha, the nurse said, "Do you want to hold her, too? I figure that if I can hold her, you should be allowed to hold her." Sarah held her little girl close. Samantha snuggled in and looked so content. When she smiled, she revealed a little dimple in her check that is just like Sarah's. Finally, Samantha has her mother.

Sarah holding Samantha for the first time. Beautiful!

Sarah, Samantha and Callie

My Babies

Callie cried when it was time to leave the babies because she wants to take them home!

Callie met her siblings. She quietly looked over each one, but then decided that she only wants to hold the boys. The girls must have too many wires. Callie announced, "I'm not going to share my toys with the babies. They don't like my toys."

And so it begins.

Thanks so much for praying!

Jackson and Landon

2010-09-03T00:10:00.004-04:00

Jackson and Landon

Holding the boys. Now where will she put the other two?

Isabella

Samantha

Quads are Stable/"Mamaw Loves Me"

2010-09-03T00:06:00.006-04:00

God is working around the clock in the NICU. The quads are stable. The boys are good. The girls are improving. I am exhaling a little. Holding my breath is very tiring. The nurses caution me that things are going well for now. I get the feeling that things can change in a heartbeat. I just keep praying.

Calli's big sister gift

Callie loves her new backpack!

She looks pretty cool in her new shades. Bring on the Quads!

Callie is SO happy to have her mommy and daddy again. She is giggly and goofy and sweet. Somehow, I think a part of her will always belong to me, though. After celebrating Sarah's return, Callie got sleepy. She grabbed a blanket, looked at Sarah, looked at me, and then looked at Sarah again. Then she climbed in my lap. She told Sarah, "Mamaw takes care of me. Mamaw loves me." Yes, I do.

Turning a Corner/Let Her Live

2010-09-01T23:09:00.005-04:00

Landon

Jackson

Landon and Jackson Co-Bedding

Sarah and Isabella finally meet!

Samantha

The LORD has done this,
and it is marvelous in our eyes. Psalm 118:23

Samantha has turned a corner. The nurses are cautiously optimistic that she is finally headed in the right direction. Veteran NICU nurses have been quietly letting us know how frightened they have been during the last few days. They didn't have to tell us. We knew.

Sarah has been trying to pump every two hours so the babies can have breast milk with antibodies. It isn't easy for her--not only is she in much pain from her long incision and torn ligament, but she also has the additional problems of bed rest, stress and medications working against her. Nurses supplement what little she does make with donor breast milk that is heated, pasteurized and packaged especially for premature infants. It's a good thing. When Samantha was at her lowest point, Sarah stopped producing.

As soon as my son Eric could get away from college, he drove all the way home to see the quads. Samantha broke his heart. He said, " I wish I could just trade places with her." I know what he means.

Things are better today. Samantha has some color thanks to the blood transfusion. The oscillator never allows her lungs to close, so she is stable on her oxygen levels. She is off the lights. The nurses put a tiny foam mattress on top of a scale so they can weigh her without moving her. Clever. She is 3 pounds today. She is moving around some. Her potassium is still really low. She is on Lasix, which is removing the excess fluid from her tissues.

She's been through so much. The doctor put it this way: "Samantha had a rough start. She has a long way to go to come back."

A retired nurse from Sweetwater, Texas found me on Facebook and gave me this verse to pray over Samantha and her siblings:

"I will not die but live,
and will proclaim what the LORD has done." Psalm 118:17

That is my prayer. Lord, let Samantha live and proclaim to the world what you have done!

Thanks for praying.

Psalm 118
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
Let Israel say:
"His love endures forever."
Let the house of Aaron say:
"His love endures forever."
Let those who fear the LORD say:
"His love endures forever."
In my anguish I cried to the LORD,
and he answered by setting me free.
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?
The LORD is with me; he is my helper.
I will look in triumph on my enemies.
It is better to take refuge in the LORD
than to trust in man.
It is better to take refuge in the LORD
than to trust in princes.
All the nations surrounded me,
but in the name of the LORD I cut them off.
They surrounded me on every side,
but in the name of the LORD I cut them off.
They swarmed around me like bees,
but they died out as quickly as burning thorns;
in the name of the LORD I cut them off.
I was pushed back and about to fall,
but the LORD helped me.
The LORD is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation.
Shouts of joy and victory
resound in the tents of the righteous:
"The LORD's right hand has done mighty things!
The LORD's right hand is lifted high;
the LORD's right hand has done mighty things!
I will not die but live,
and will proclaim what the LORD has done.
The LORD has chastened me severely,
but he has not given me over to death.
Open for me the gates of righteousness;
I will enter and give thanks to the LORD.
This is the gate of the LORD
through which the righteous may enter.
I will give you thanks, for you answered me;
you have become my salvation.
The stone the builders rejected
has become the capstone;
the LORD has done this,
and it is marvelous in our eyes.
This is the day the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.
O LORD, save us;
O LORD, grant us success.
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD.
From the house of the LORD we bless you.
The LORD is God,
and he has made his light shine upon us.
With boughs in hand, join in the festal procession
up to the horns of the altar.
You are my God, and I will give you thanks;
you are my God, and I will exalt you.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.

Week 34/Worth Celebrating

2010-08-31T23:38:00.016-04:00

Updates:

The Quads are 34 Weeks! Sarah is very sore and tired, but is glad to be home.

Landon (A) is off the lights and off c-pap. He gets oxygen through a nasal cannula. His feedings have increased to 27 ml, which is almost an ounce! He is back up to his birth weight. After he eats, he sleeps so soundly that he forgets to breathe. Alarms go off when that happens. Landon pulled out his pick line. We are hoping that he continues to tolerate his tube feeds so a new pick line won't be necessary. He is in baby clothes and is maintaining his body temperature. Sarah got to hold him and see his face for the first time today. He studied his mother's face very intently. It was precious to watch. Sarah thinks he looks like a bigger version of Jackson

Rock Star Jackson (B) is taking a bottle once a day. He only gets about a teaspoon or so with added fat. He gets worn out very quickly. He has been in clothes for days and does not require any help breathing. the doctors think he is a character. He just hangs out and wonders what all the fuss is about.

Isabella (C) (or Izzy, as Tom calls her) is off the oscillator and on c-pap. She was weighed for the first time since birth and is 5 lbs. They are taking out one of her umbilical lines and have started tube feedings. She gets about a teaspoon at a time. If she tolerates the feedings, she won't need a pick line. She should be off the antibiotics soon. She is no longer sedated.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Samantha (D) is still very sick. She is sedated. She was finally able to be put on the oscillator- the respirator they use on the sickest babies. They are still concerned about her liver, kidneys, and heart. She had a very wet diaper, which is a good sign. Tests revealed that she has a hole in her heart that is often found in preemies. Hers is bigger than most. We are praying that it will close on its on. Samantha's hemoglobin was very low so she needed a blood transfusion. She needed a shot to help urine output. Her blood pressure is low and they don't like where it is, but the transfusion helped. She is very yellow and is back under lights. Her potassium levels are low. After rounds, the doctor said, "Don't get me wrong; Samantha is very sick and is still giving us a run for our money, but she is stable. We are pleased that she is making progress. " She is holding her own.

Last night was wonderfully uneventful, which is definitely worth celebrating. Thanks for praying!

Hope in difficult time is not based on positive thinking, wishful thinking, or natural optimism. It is a certainty based on the truths that God is in complete control of our universe and He loves us (Purpose Driven Life).

Your trust can be in God who raised Christ from the dead and gave Him great glory. Now your faith and hope can rest in Him alone.
1 Peter 1:21

Baby D- Samantha Update/Sarah Came Home!

2010-08-29T20:40:00.005-04:00

This morning we thought we were going to lose Samantha. The resident came in to tell Sarah that Samantha is septic and the sickest baby in the NICU right now. The doctors decided to try one more time to get an IV pick line, but if unsuccessful, they would have to transfer her to Children's for a surgical pick line. They don't want to transfer her because it is dangerous to move a baby so ill. When Sarah began to cry, the resident cried with her.

Meanwhile, Tom and I prayed for Samantha. Then we asked our family, our friends, our church, and everyone else to pray.

One of my concerns has been that Sarah is not able to hold three of her babies, so they don't have her to comfort them after the painful procedures. I started thinking about how hard it must be for a tiny little baby to be alone in a plastic warmer with nothing to look forward to but needle pricks. "Maybe she'll just give up," I thought.

As usual, when Satan tries too hard to scare me, I realize who is behind my fear. That's when I get angry. I started praying harder, asking God to hold Samantha and let her know that she is loved. God doesn't need Sarah to hold Samantha right now. HE's got it covered.

All the way to the hospital, I had my own tearful talk with the Lord. My private requests included the following:

-That God would spare Samantha and let her parents raise her to serve Christ
-That He would make the veins pop up in a miraculous way so the medical team involved would have no doubt that there is one true God in Heaven who knows and cares and hears and heals
-That He would send the best nurse qualified to do the procedure
-That no matter what happens, we will be a testimony of the love of God for His people
-That Satan would be bound and unable to touch Samantha or the people caring for her
-That the doctor who pressured Sarah and Tony to abort their babies would have no cause to feel justified that he did so
-That angels would stand behind the pick line nurse and guide her hands
-That Samantha would feel the presence of the Almighty God, and would not be in pain or afraid
-That Sarah and Tony would experience God on a whole new level

When we got to the NICU, the best-of-the-best for pick lines was scrubbing in for the procedure. She gave Samantha a sedative and painkiller so she wouldn't suffer. We waited outside while she began, hoping and praying that it would work this time. I don't remember how long it took, but it seemed like forever. Sarah waited in her wheelchair holding Jackson.

Finally, the nurse said over the intercom, " I got it. Did you hear me? I Got It! " Then she asked us to put our hands together and pray that it was in the right place. We prayed quietly while they wheeled in the X-ray machine, took the pictures, and rushed them off to be developed.

Since phones are not allowed in the NICU, I left to text Tom and everyone else with an update. Tom gathered the employees and led them in prayer for Samantha. I thought about God's timing. The nurse that did the pick line was also in the delivery room. She accompanied the girls to the NICU and so did I. We had a long time to talk and get acquainted. I told her Sarah and Tony's story, and let her know that people all around the world were praying for her and the babies. She was grateful. Now, she was the one helping Samantha. I was glad she was the one they called.

The resident came around the corner and said, "It's perfect!" We cried and thanked God. Then we thanked the pick line nurse. She said, "Don't thank me. It had to be God. I wouldn't have gotten it otherwise. She doesn't have any veins."

The resident told us that a couple of veins had "popped up." She had tears in her eyes when she told us the good news. She calls the baby "Sammy Jo." My darling little namesake is not out of the woods yet, but now they can help her. She will get the fluids, antibiotics, nourishment and rest that she needs.

While Devon was praying for Samantha, God gave her this Scripture:

"Let everyone in all the world men women and children fear the Lord and stand in awe of Him. For when He but spoke, the world began! It appeared at His command! And with a breath He can scatter the plans of all the nations who oppose Him, but His own plan stands forever. His intentions are the same for every generation. The best equipped army cannot save a king for great strength is not enough to save anyone. A war horse is a poor risk for winning victories. It is strong but it cannot save. But the eyes of the Lord are watching over those who fear Him, who rely upon His steadfast love. He will keep them from death even in times of famine ! We depend upon the Lord alone to save us. Only He can help us; He protects us like a shield. No wonder we are happy in the Lord! For we are trusting Him. We trust His holy name. Yes, Lord, let your constant love surround us, for our hopes are in you alone."

Last night, I was reading in the Psalms. The verse I read carried me through today:

The Lord nurses them when they are sick
and restores them to health.
Psalms 41:3

Sarah got to come home today. She took her first breath of summer air after 10 weeks in Special Care Obstetrics. She said that leaving her babies in the NICU was one of the hardest things she has ever done. But she did it. She slowly got in the car and we drove away.

Thanks to all of you who are praying. You are God's gift to us.

Please Pray

2010-08-29T10:44:00.001-04:00

Please pray for Samantha (Baby D). Unless the Lord intervenes, we are afraid we will lose her. She is extremely ill.

Thank you.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

29,999 Diapers to Go/Seeing Us Through

2010-08-26T22:09:00.012-04:00

I changed my first quad diaper today. Only 29,999 to go!

Baby Updates:

Quad A--Landon is still on the respirator from the Respiratory Distress Syndrome (RDS). He was given surfactant to help his lungs do their job. Today, they were able to turn down the oxygen level somewhat. If he starts breathing more on his own, they will continue to wean him. He is tolerating milk in his feeding tube. The nurses are using donor breast milk and premie formula. Landon is also under photo therapy lights because he is jaundiced. Jaundice occurs when there is a build-up of bilirubin, which is produced by the normal breakdown of red blood cells. As bilirubin begins to build up, the baby's skin and whites of the baby's eyes to appear yellow. The most common cause of newborn jaundice is an immature liver. Landon is not responding to lights as they had hoped, so he is being placed on a photo therapy blanket that will increase the effectiveness of the lights.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Quad B--Jackson is been nicknamed the "Rock Star" of the NICU because he is doing so well, yet is so little. He is the resident's favorite. He weighed in at 2 lbs. 14 ozs. today. His only issue is the jaundice. He has been maintaining his own body temperature and is tolerating formula through his feeding tube. He is the only quad that Sarah can hold.

Baby C--Isabella is a very sick little girl. She is sedated and on an oscillator that is a step up from the respirators that her brother and sister are on. She received two doses of surfactant, but did not respond well to either dose. She is having some other issues with her blood PH levels and they can't figure out what is causing her to be so sick. They believe she has an infection of some kind, so she is on three different antibiotics. She is unable to be fed, but is on IV's for nourishment. She is too sick to be fed or held.

Baby D--Samantha is the most critical. More often than not, she has a large number of people in her room trying to get her stable. They suspect she has an infection, as well, so she is on four antibiotics. She is on a respirator and also received two doses of surfactant. The nurse had a hard time put in an IV pick line, which stays put for a long period of time and saves the baby from constant needle sticks. Samantha went downhill afterwards. I quit counting at 10 holes in her little arm. At her lowest point, she was oozing blood from the holes in her arm and from her mouth. She was given a transfusion and platelets to help her blood coagulate. She is on the lights for jaundice. Today, they tell us she is holding her own. They hope she will not go downhill again, but are making no promises. She is too sick to be fed or held.

Delivery Day:

Sarah was so tempted to deliver last Monday due to the torn ligament in her belly and the non-stop contractions. The ligament ripped away from one hip bone and was causing her so much pain. Her doctor talked her into waiting until Friday to give the babies a few more days to grow. In the meantime, we prayed that God would choose the birth date for the quads.On Wednesday, Sarah was in full-blown labor. The doctors scheduled a C-section and started gathering eighteen-plus medical team for the surgery. Then, Landon (Baby A) decided he was ready to see the world. Sarah's water broke and turned the surgery into an emergency.

Tony scrubbed in while the anesthesiologist hurried to get Sarah numb for the operation. I waited in recovery to accompany the babies to the NICU. The extended family members waited in a room that the Special Care Nurses opened especially for us. We are a large group of loving, laughing, loud, colorful, eccentric, unusual, comical and sometimes obnoxious people, so we tend to put on a show wherever we go. I am just sorry that I don't have that waiting room on film.

Once the surgery began, everything went very quickly. The doctors taped Sarah's belly to a bar above to hold it up and went to work. They were surprised when three of the babies practically jumped out! The only one they had to search for was Baby D. Quads A & B were born at 4:26. Quad C was born at 4:27. Quad D was born at 4:28. I understand that it was disturbing to watch, but doctors had to move quickly and get those babies out. She has a rather large incision that was stitched instead of stapled due to doctor's preference. Babies A, B, and D were wrapped up, put in an isolette together and rushed to the NICU. I went with them. They are beautiful! I didn't get to see Baby C at first because she was having help breathing. When I did see her, she was very blue. The doctor was amazed when she performed the surgery. There had been much concern that Sarah would require a hysterectomy, but she found that Sarah's uterus is a "uterus of steel." It did its job and sprang right back.The doctor said that it didn't even look like it had held multiples. Unfortunately, she was unable to attach the ligament that tore from the hip bone. It is just too thin. Sarah will have to tough it out and let it heal itself.

It has been hard on Sarah being on the Mom & Baby Floor without her babies. She hears the babies crying all around her, but she is alone in her room. It will be even harder to leave them when she is discharged from the hospital. However, she knows that they are where they need to be and is so thankful to have them in one of the top NICU's in the world. She is very thankful that God chose their birthday, especially since three of them are struggling to survive. That regret would have been hard to live with.

We are thankful for the prayer support from people all over the US and the world. God is using His people to literally hold us up with prayers, emails, cards and facebook. I can FEEL it! Sometimes, I am so tired and emotionally spent while driving home from the hospital that I am not sure I can make it. Without fail, God provides a boost just when I need it. I don't know where we would be otherwise. We have a long road ahead of us, but God and His wonderful people will see us through.

Respiratory Distress/ What We Know

2010-08-26T15:55:00.012-04:00

Quad A/Landon with Aunt Devon

Quads A, C, and D are in respiratory distress and in much need of prayer. They are all 3 on ventilators. Baby C is sedated and stable for now. Baby D is very sick. They aren't sure what is wrong with her in addition to the RDS, but suspect infection. It has been very hard to watch what these tiny ones have gone through the last 24 hours.

Baby B is still hanging out. He is doing great.

Sarah has a ligament that tore away from the bone due to the weight of her pregnant belly. The doctor was not able to reattach it because it was too thin, so Sarah will have to wait for it to heal. She is very sore.

What We Know:

Satan has been trying to get rid of these children from the beginning, and God has been there every step of the way.
Although the babies are in good hands, God is ultimately in control.
If we could see the unseen, we would see angels in the room standing watch.
Three babies are critical, yet we choose to hope.
Our lives can be a testimony to the power of God through this experience.

Please pray for us.

Quads Are Here/All is Well

2010-08-25T19:26:00.005-04:00

The babies have arrived. Sarah did well and did not require a hysterectomy. Babies A and C are on oxygen. Little Baby B is the strongest so far. Here are the stats:

Quad A- 4:26 PM
17 1/2 inches
4 lbs. 4 oz
Apgar: 9.9

Quad B- 4:26 PM
16 1/4 inches
3 lbs. 2.4 ozs.
Apgar: 8.9

Quad C - 4:27 PM
18 inches
4 lbs. 9 ozs.
Apgar: 6.8

Quad D- 4:28 PM
17 1/2"
3 lbs. 11.2 ozs.
Apgar: 8.9

Thanks to all of you for praying. God is taking care of us. Please pray especially for Baby C. She is struggling and may need to be intubated.

Emergency C- Section Today/Please Pray

2010-08-25T12:13:00.002-04:00

Sent: Aug 25, 2010 12:06 PM
Subject: Sarah is having an emergency c-section at 2:30. Baby D has an issue. Please pray.
Sent via BlackBerry by ATT

Week 33 & The Old College Try/So We Wait

2010-08-22T23:56:00.006-04:00

Week 33! It won't be long now.

These last few days have undoubtedly been the hardest for Sarah. She tore a ligament while trying to turn over. The pain was excruciating. She cried for hours and was unable to get up to go to the bathroom. Finally, a nurse helped her to maneuver enough to get out of bed. The doctors kept checking the ligament, concerned that it might have separated from the bone. They think it is just torn, but said it will be at least a couple of months before it feels better. Just add that to the surgery-bedrest-recovery list. They finally gave her a morphine-type drug to give her some pain relief. This latest development helped her decide to schedule the surgery soon. She is at the end of her pain tolerance. Contractions with a torn ligament are no good for anybody.

FYI--The male doctors are wanting her to give it the old college try and go to 34 weeks. The female doctors (and nurses) think she has gone far enough and should deliver now. Why is that???

We are so worried about Sarah that it is getting hard to decide who we are most worried about: mother or babies. I was telling a friend that it feels like a sick version of one of those values clarification games we played in college classes. "If you were on a sinking boat and there was only one life raft, who would you pick to survive?" I am praying for God's wisdom, direction, timing, and peace while trying to keep my own thinking out of it. With God, there are always more possibilities than there are in the hypothetical situations we create.

Yesterday was a day of adjustment--trying to look forward while wanting to look back. My son Eric went away to college.

When we loaded Eric's belongings, I had to resist the urge to chain myself to his trunk and refuse to move. What I really wanted to do was lock myself in his room and cry. Instead, I put on a brave face and actually helped him move away.

On the way, we stopped at Sarah and Tony's house to pick up something of Eric's. We had Callie with us. I wondered how this brave little girl would react when she saw her house for the first time after all these months. She was so excited at first! She ran up to the front door and tried to open it. When she realized it was locked, she cried hysterically for her mommy and daddy to let her in. It was heartbreaking. That was when I decided that I didn't like this day.

I know that Callie will love her brothers and sisters, and will be fine when her mom comes home. But I also know that she will never go back to that life she knew as the center of attention with Mommy and Daddy at her beck and call. With quads coming, those days are gone forever.

We hit the road loaded with boxes and bags. After hours of driving, we found Eric's dorm and reversed the process by unloading and unpacking. His room is on the third floor, of course, so we got a workout. Callie immediately commandeered his bed for a trampoline, undaunted by the presence of Eric's roommate.

Whenever I want a day to last forever, it goes at warp speed. After a late dinner at the local pizza place, we prepared to go. Tom gave Eric some last minute encouragements and instructions. Callie wanted Eric to get in the truck with us, but when he didn't, she was quiet. Either she didn't understand that we were leaving him there, or she is getting used to goodbyes.

It was time. My 6'4" son gave me a big bear hug. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and closed my eyes so he wouldn't see my tears. For just a moment, time went backwards and he was my little boy again.

"Mommy, I want to be with you and Daddy forever."

Looking down into my five-year-old's deep brown eyes, I said, "Honey, I want to be with you, too, but someday a very smart girl is going to grab hold of you and never let you go."

With a shy half-smile, he asked, "Will you ever leave me?"

"Not if I can help it," I promised. My little boy smiled contentedly and snuggled closer. Although I didn't realize it at the time, it was a moment to cherish.

"Mom?" Eric pushed back and saw the tears on my face, laughed, and held me even tighter. Slowly, I let go of my only son and climbed into the truck. As we drove off, I watched Eric walk away in the darkness. I left him in spite of my long-ago promise.

As we pulled onto the highway, I wondered why the milestones of our lives often bring so much pain. It doesn't make sense.

It is hard to explain, but I do have peace about Eric's decision to go away. It is a beginning--a new stage in his life. But it's also the end of something precious. I have a feeling that Eric will be very different the next time I see him.

Tom reached over and grabbed my hand. "Sondra, this is a good day. He's going to be fine! You should be proud. You did a great job with our kids. We should have had a few more." He turned on the radio and headed for home.

One day, everything will make sense when we stand in the presence of our perfect Saviour. I long for that day, and I pray that all of my friends and family will be there with me. So we wait.

One day eyes that are blind will see You clearly
And one day all who deny will finally believe
One day hearts made of stone will break in pieces
And one day chains once unbroken will fall down at Your feet
So we wait for that one day come quickly

We want to see Your Glory
Every knee falls down before Thee
Every tongue offers You praise
With every hand raised
Singing Glory
To You and unto You only
We'll sing Glory to Your name

One day voices that lie will all be silent
One day all that's divided will be whole again
One day death will retreat and wave it's white flag
One day love will defeat the strongest enemy
So we wait for that one day come quickly

We know not the day or the hour
Or the moments in between
But we know the end of the story
When we'll see Your Glory
Every knee falls down before Thee
Every tongue offers You praise
With every hand raised
Singing Glory
To You and unto You only
We'll sing Glory to Your name

Glory by Nicole Nordeman

One Day at a Time/ Our Legacy

2010-08-20T23:04:00.003-04:00

Sarah made it another day, so she is now 32 and 4/7!

We finally visited the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. The charge nurse had asked Sarah to wait since their last three visitors went into labor the next day. The NICU is a quiet, warm, dark place. The atmosphere is very different from Special Care Obstetrics. Unbelievably tiny babies are everywhere, hooked up to all kinds of monitors. The ones who can't maintain their temperatures are in enclosed clear isolettes where they stay until their bodies regulate themselves. We saw triplets that were born at 32 weeks. The two biggest ones required help to breathe, while the smallest one pound baby didn't need any help. We were fascinated to learn that the smallest babies tend to do the best in the NICU because they are used to fighting for nourishment in the womb. How does a baby "fight" for food before its born? It seems to be universal that the struggle makes us stronger.

The nursery is full right now. There is room called a pod that they set up for the quads, but it had to used for other infants. Please pray that we can keep the babies together when the time comes.

As we were leaving, the NICU nurse encouraged Sarah to stay pregnant as long as possible. "Each day makes a huge difference in their development," she stated. "They grow much faster inside than out." We also learned that the nurses subtract one week from their gestation for each additional baby, so quads born at 32 weeks would be treated as 29-week-olds.

Sarah' s primary doctor went over options. He is very pleased that she made it to 32 weeks. The babies have a 20% chance that their lungs will work properly if born now. However, if they are born at 34 weeks, the number goes up to 50%. He also said that most women with small babies deliver at this point because they are afraid of losing their babies. Sarah has entered a gray area. Going either way is okay with him. He thinks the babies look good. He would like for Sarah to keep going, but won't blame her if she chooses to deliver. If the babies look stressed at any time, he will order an emergency C-section.

Multiples mature quicker in the uterus than their singleton counterparts. Amazing! The downside of that rapid growth is that the placentas age quickly. The doctors think that Baby B and D's placentas are starting to weaken, resulting in their lack of growth.

Sarah and Tony discussed the pros and cons.Tony said, "We have been facing scary statistics the whole time, and God has gotten us this far." They prayed and decided to take one day at a time.

Sarah is having contractions all night, so she gets little rest. Baby Boy A is parked on her sciatic nerve; she can hardly use her left leg. Callie has a developed a good imitation of Mommy trying to walk to the bathroom. Sarah has to stop halfway and rest in a chair.

The doctors used their final option in the bag of tricks. They upped her Procardia, in spite of Sarah's low blood pressure. From now on, she will have to live with the contractions. She is not dilated at all--another miracle--so the contractions are more painful than productive.

Sarah has been here so long that her large chart binder filled up completely and they had to start a new one. I looked at the four inches of paperwork and realized that it represents a season in our lives.

This worrisome journey is starting to wear on all of us. Tom is concerned about his little girl. He dreamed that Sarah didn't make it through surgery, that Tony decided to join her in Heaven, that I went crazy, that Eric went away to school, and that Devon was too busy to help. So in Tom's nightmare, he was alone with a crazy wife, four screaming babies and a toddler. Then Sarah dreamed that we were all out of town when she went into labor, and the only person she could reach to go into the delivery room was her Uncle Jon. Maybe it's a good thing that we don't get much time to sleep.

I admit that the stress is starting to get to me, too. I am exhausted and she hasn't even had the babies yet! This has been a risky business from the beginning. I don't doubt that God is with us. I just wonder sometimes what He will ask us to go through.

I was thinking about the night before Sarah got married. I cried that night because I knew she would never live with us again. Ever.

Once again, my worry was wasted. Sarah, Tony and Callie will stay with us until they get a handle on caring for quads. Sarah's coming home again with more to love.

Tom wrote Sarah a letter when she got married. He said I could share it:

Sarah,

I am sitting at the computer in the middle of the night trying to figure out where all the time has gone. I am not really sure I'm old enough to have a daughter who is getting married in three days. I want to know when I got old. What day did this happen?

I have lately been remembering things that I had forgotten. I remember books, games, songs and how easy it was for me to make you laugh. I remember when I was your hero and I could solve any problem or confront any evil. “They are killing babies again?.......Well ,somebody should tell my dad.” I remember how you would cry for me when I left for work and how excited you became when I got home. You probably don't realize this, but you helped me get through some tough times.

I am not sure what I'm supposed to do now. I have spent the last 22 years watching your back. I was diligent in trying to keep evil influences out of you life. I worried, "Is she happy? Does she have friends?" I can't remember you ever needing or wanting anything that I didn’t get for you. I always had your best interest at heart. I have never hurt you or frightened you or let you down. I have always defended you and when you called I always came. I was never far away. You never came home to find me gone, and you never will. I was your leader and defender. If someone wanted to get to you, they had to come through me.

Now I have to turn that job over to someone else. I am not entirely comfortable with this new arrangement. I hope he knows that he owes me. I am giving him a young woman who is pure both emotionally and physically. This is a rare feat in this day and you are a precious gift. Don't ever let yourself forget this and if he makes you feel any less than who you are, then you let me know and I will gently remind him.

He also owes your Heavenly Father , who picked him up off the ash heap, saved him and set him among princes and kings. I have no doubt that the hand of God was on you and on him and that He kept you for each other. God snatched Tony out of difficult circumstances and picked him for you. This was part of God's plan to answer the prayers of your parents, grandparents and great grandparents.

You and Tony have been taken down the path less traveled and have been given a great Godly heritage. The courage, vision, sacrifice, and boldness of your mother and others has made you who you are. You and Tony must never forget who you are and what your purpose is. You are the children of a king and with this birthright come many responsibilities. You must live by the full counsel of God and in all that you do bring glory to God. Follow Jesus and do not sway to the right or to the left. I have made this mistake and I have paid dearly in ways you cannot imagine. Defend the Gospel, stand against sin and in the midst of battle do not lose heart but hold to your sword and fight on. “Do not let the book of this law depart from your mouth, mediate on it day and night so that you will be careful to do all that is written it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you. Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God goes with you wherever you go. “

You and Tony will have some tough times . You will get through them. I trust you. I know that your faith is strong and your character is solid. You have been blessed and you have a place. You are part of a large family with a history for leadership and ministry. You have been trained and equipped. You are a minister of the Gospel. Just be who you are and do what you do.

I am so grateful for all that God has given me. I am amazed by Sondra. She is an incredible mother and a faithful, Godly woman. I see so much of her in you. You have given me more than I gave you. All my children--Sarah, Devon, and Eric (and Isaac)--have been the most fun I have ever had.

Raising a daughter has been a wonderful adventure and in many ways you saved me. You saved me from myself and from giving into my sinful nature. You brought our families together. You were born The Princess and you have been in fact, The Princess. I have made some mistakes and I have been far from a perfect father, but you should know that you have been loved. From the word "go'" you have been loved. You were born out of love and raised on the very foundation of all that word means. You have made your mother and me very happy. We are proud to claim you as our legacy.

Daddy

"Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass." Psalm 37:5

Week 32/Learning to Listen

2010-08-17T23:32:00.000-04:00

Week 32! She made it!

Sarah had her long sonograms and biophysical profiles today. There were feet everywhere, which is convenient because they poke feet to wake the babies.

Quad A: BPP--10
Heart Rate--133
Weight--4 lbs.
Cord Flow--Good
His head is tucked under everyone and hard to find.

Quad B: BPP--10
Heart Rate--133
Weight--2.14
Cord Flow--Good
He has not gained weight from two weeks ago. He is belly to belly with D.

Quad C: BPP--10
Heart Rate--135
Weight--3.10
Cord Flow--Good
The sonographer has decided that C rules the roost. She is always kicking
and poking everyone. They all react except A, who is not bothered by her.
She has hair!

Quad D: BPP--10
Heart Rate--138
Weight--3.5
Cord Flow--Good
Baby D has had a personality change. Instead of holding her
position, she slipped back on top of Baby B and she is not happy
about sharing her space. She has only gained one ounce in 2 weeks.

Sarah's belly is too big to stand normally on the scale, so she has to stand backwards. She only gained 2 lbs. this week. There is no room in her stomach for food anymore.

Since the sonogram showed that Baby B did not gain any weight in the last two weeks and Baby D only gained one ounce, the doctor came in to give Sarah her options:

1) She can schedule her delivery for this Thursday.
Pros: The delivery would be planned, and she would
avoid the risk of further pregnancy complications.
Cons: The babies would be in the NICU longer. They don't suck until 34
weeks, so they would be on feeding tubes.

2) She can take one day at a time and try to make it to 34 weeks.
Pros: The babies would have longer to mature and would spend less time
in the NICU.
Cons: She would have a greater risk of an emergency delivery, less chance of her
support system making it to the hospital, and more chance of a
hysterectomy.

The doctors discussed Sarah's test results and believe there is a good chance that the weights are inaccurate because the BPP's are excellent. However, there is a chance that things are starting to deteriorate. When they do, they will go downhill quickly. The doctors are split down the middle about whether Sarah should deliver now or try to wait it out. On the other hand, they are in agreement that making it to Week 35 is out of the question now. They are extremely pleased with her progress. Most of their triplet moms deliver at 34 weeks, so Sarah is doing well. But she has a decision to make.

My son asked me recently why God allows so many options to present themselves when He wants us to choose only one. That's a good question. Maybe God wants us to pursue Him so closely that the right path becomes obvious. Or maybe He just wants us to learn to listen.

Please pray that Sarah and Tony will make the right decision.

"God's wisdom is something mysterious that goes deep into the interior of his purposes. You don't find it lying around on the surface. It's not the latest message, but more like the oldest—what God determined as the way to bring out his best in us, long before we ever arrived on the scene. The experts of our day haven't a clue about what this eternal plan is. If they had, they wouldn't have killed the Master of the God-designed life on a cross. That's why we have this Scripture text:

   No one's ever seen or heard anything like this,
   Never so much as imagined anything quite like it—
   What God has arranged for those who love him.
But you've seen and heard it because God by his Spirit has brought it all out into the open before you.

The Spirit, not content to flit around on the surface, dives into the depths of God, and brings out what God planned all along. Who ever knows what you're thinking and planning except you yourself? The same with God—except that he not only knows what he's thinking, but he lets us in on it. God offers a full report on the gifts of life and salvation that he is giving us. We don't have to rely on the world's guesses and opinions." I Corinthians 2

Goodyear Blimp/God Hears and Answers

2010-08-15T19:59:00.006-04:00

The Goodyear Blimp just flew by Sarah's hospital window. She did not appreciate it.

The Quads had their biophysical profiles and all received 10's. In this photo, Baby C and Baby B are looking toward the camera.

Tomorrow is a HUGE milestone. Week 32 has been the target date to avoid a high brain-bleed risk, which is the main concern right now. Sarah has officially stayed pregnant longer than the majority of quad moms. God has heard and answered our prayers!

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met."

Matthew 6:30-33

Hooray for 31 Weeks/ In Memory of Tim

2010-08-12T23:58:00.001-04:00

Hooray for 31 Weeks!

Sarah's primary doctor came to say, "You're making us look good!" He said that the babies are a great weight, and are what quads usually weigh when they are weeks further. He also added, "We're going to be talking about you for a long time."

She is doing very well--no high blood pressure, no diabetes, and no preclampsia--so he wants her to hang in there. He would feel a lot better if they made it to 34 weeks. He is not worried about delivering the babies themselves. The whole thing should take about an hour. He will try to give each one his or her minute birthday, if possible. He will also try to avoid a blood transfusion. What he is mainly concerned about at this point is the ability of her overstretched uterus to contract. If it doesn't contract and Sarah starts hemorrhaging, he will perform an emergency hysterectomy. He said he will have medicines on hand to help, and will hope for the best outcome. Please pray that Sarah will not have complications and require the additional surgery.

Later, the nurse commented that she didn't want to scare her with typical quad mom conditions, but considering everything, Sarah is doing incredibly well. I told the nurse about Sarah's around-the-world prayer support, and that God was answering those prayers. The nurse added, "That's fantastic! Sarah is very fortunate."

Biophysicals were stressful today because the cord blood flow was checked on each baby. The sonographer measures the cord tension or blood flow from the placenta to the baby. Preferable scores are 3 or below. Quad A was 2.3, Quad B was 2.7, Quad C was 2. 8, but Quad D was 3.2. The technician was concerned enough to put Sarah in her wheelchair and look up the results in her reference materials. She came back with the report saying it was probably okay. Apparently, the flow score is like a blood pressure reading. It can change each minute. Everyone got 8's on the actual biophysicals. The sonographer said, "I have NO idea how they did it, but B and C have traded places, fluid sacs and all!" I guess it's a toss up now about who comes out first.

Sarah and Tony have some names tentatively chosen. It wasn't easy to come up with eight names. I read out hundreds of names and their meanings until Sarah came up with a list of first names that she liked. Then it was time for the second names. Those were easier. She and Tony finally agreed on the following LONG list of names:

Quad A--Landon (Gentle Strength) Anthony (Praiseworthy)
Quad B--Jackson (Gracious Gift of God) Thomas (Twin)
Quad C--Sarah (Princess) Isabella (Oath of God)
Quad D--Samantha (God Hears) Jo (May God Multiply)

I like the names, but I have a feeling that we will be calling them by their letters.

Recently, my cousin mentioned my tendency to turn everything into ministry. She is right. There's a reason.

When I was young, I rode the bus with a young man named Tim. We went to elementary and middle school together, sometimes in the same classes. Tim was older than I was because he had repeated a grade. He was reserved, and his eyes had a far-away look in them. I wondered what he had been through that made him so thoughtful.

Tim's house was not far from mine. It was an old, large house that was well-worn. There was a huge tree that was suitable for climbing in the front yard. Every day, the bus would stop on the busy street to let Tim out in front of his house. When he walked into the yard, the front door would burst open and a number of children would run out to meet him. Tim would drop his books and pick up a child or two. Laughing, the rest would jump around him. As the bus drove off, I would turn around in my seat to watch the regular reunion. I later heard that Tim was a father figure to his siblings. I admired him for that. We became friends.

When it was time for high school, I went to a private school and sadly left my friends behind. I often wondered about Tim, especially when I would drive by his house. We were growing up and moving on, and I had regrets. During all those years of bus ride conversations, I had never told Tim about the most important part of my life: my relationship with God.

One hot summer evening, I went to the fair with family and friends. It was so much fun--the animals, the cotton candy, and the carnival rides. We headed down the hill to ride when I saw a familiar face in the crowd. It was Tim! I was so glad to see him; he had been much on my mind lately. My group went over to talk to his group. Tim and I were the only acquaintances, so everyone else was silent while we caught up. He asked about school and my job. I asked about his family.

While Tim was filling me in, I felt God quietly speaking to me. "Invite Tim to church this Sunday." I laughed a little too loudly at what Tim was saying, and quickly asked about his car. I was stalling while I argued with God. "I can't ask him to church in front of all of these people!" I thought. "He will be embarrassed. I will be mortified."

I felt God speaking to me again, patiently repeating His directive. "Invite Tim to church this Sunday." Tim had a puzzled look on his face; he seemed to sense that I was distracted. He started backing up, telling me again how good it was to catch up. Relieved, I said my goodbyes. I promised myself I would call Tim privately to invite him to church when we didn't have an audience.

Our groups went in opposite directions. I stayed late at the fair, but did not enjoy the rest of my evening. I was feeling guilty.

I had to work the next day, and then babysat. I was so busy that I forgot to call Tim. I didn't feel so guilty anymore, anyway. That Sunday, I remember sitting in the pew at church, purposing to call him soon. But I didn't.

One day, I was standing in the kitchen when the phone rang. I answered. It was a friend who said quietly, "Sondra-did you hear about Tim?"

"Tim? What about him?" I replied while crunching a carrot stick." I saw him not too long ago."

She was silent for a few seconds. I put down my carrot. "What happened?" I asked.

"He's dead. He drowned in the lake."

I don't remember much else about that day. I wanted to run away as far as I could, hoping to escape the horror of what had happened. Tim was gone. I hadn't even asked him about his relationship with God. It was too late, and the reason I had kept quiet sickened me. I had been too embarrassed to ask a friend to come to church.

My grandma used to say, "Regret makes a miserable bedfellow." It's true. In the weeks that followed, I kept driving by Tim's house, full of misery and regret. I never saw the kids playing outside again.

Eventually, the house stood empty. It was torn down to make way for a business. To this day, every time I drive by I think of Tim. I will never forget him, nor will I ever stop regretting my selfish choice to remain quiet.

My cousin was right when she said that I turn whatever I do into ministry. If God gives me an opportunity, I try to point people to Christ. I do it in memory of Tim.

"It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. The one who plants and the one who waters work together with the same purpose. And both will be rewarded for their own hard work."

I Corinthians 3:7-8

The Bottom of the Bag of Tricks/ I Can Only Wonder

2010-08-07T00:44:00.008-04:00

Uncle Eric is making sure Callie stays entertained while Mommy is in the hospital. One thing is consistent with carny kids: they have no fear of heavy machinery.

Some of the doctors think Sarah will not make it past 32 weeks, but they are still hopeful. They upped her dosage of Procardia and finally got the contractions stopped. They took her off the magnesium. It took about 6 hours for Sarah to feel human. They will try their best to keep Sarah off the magnesium, but she is to be prepared to go back on. They must be getting to the bottom of their bag-of-stop-labor tricks.

At 32 weeks, Sarah goes off the contraction-stopping medicine Sulindac because it can interfere with the babies' hearts. She has finished the antibiotic IV and switched to a preventive oral dose for the remainder of her pregnancy, thanks to Quad A making a bed out of her bladder. :)

One of the group doctors smiled and said, "I have to admit, Sarah, you are the biggest patient that I have right now." He could only say that to a Super Twin Mom and live to tell about it. Admittedly, Sarah is having trouble turning over in bed. Her belly is in the way of everything! She gets worn out by the evening and declares she is going to crawl after the doctor to beg him to deliver her. By morning, she is her cheerful self again.

The babies got 10's on their bios except for Baby B, who got an 8. We are pleased, because they are sluggish from the magnesium.

Monitoring is getting harder all of the time; quads hate the straps. The sonograms are comical with the major sibling wrestling matches going on in there. Quiet Baby D is even getting in on the act since her brother is invading her penthouse space.

My life remains interesting and exhausting. I have adjusted to having a demanding three-year-old around the clock. We actually have somewhat of a routine. I am learning to appreciate cartoons again. I LOVE the writers who have mercy and sneak in adult humor: Go Phineas and Ferb!

My husband and I are enjoying our time together. I forget how much I miss him during basketball season. Whenever we can, we take Callie to the park for ice cream and sprinkles.

I really should help Devon get her classroom set up and help Debi with her lesson plans. Eric could use some help getting ready for school. I have to clean out my office at church. Meanwhile, my house is a wreck since we run all the time, but what else is new? Then just to spite me, my dog had puppies--eleven to be exact, seven surviving. Yeah, just what we need: more babies!

In spite of all the craziness, I am amazed at God's hand on my life. He is always at work.

Awhile back, Tom and I decided to use our savings to help a family member out of a serious financial crisis. It was the one we were planning to use for college expenses for the kids. That may sound a little extreme, unless you know my husband. He is the most generous person I have ever met. Afterward, I felt God speak to my heart. He assured me, "I will take care of college." It was an interesting message that I tucked away and soon forgot. We started working and saving again. Life was busy.

Meanwhile, my kids got older. Before I knew it, Sarah graduated from high school. We tried to figure out college options for her, but Tom and I were at odds. He was adamant that she stay close to home. I was adamant that she go to Christian college. (Okay, I admit I am one of those fanatics who hates to pay someone to teach my kids wrong ideas.) When we could not agree on any school, we knew God had another option that we couldn't see. So we prayed and kept looking.

One day, my sister-in-law suggested that we consider a local Christian college that her pastor attended. When I walked in, I saw that my high school principal was part of the faculty. I knew that he would only affiliate himself with a school that was biblically sound. Then we found out that a bus driver and assistant coach for the basketball team were needed. Tom could do both. One more position was open: English Composition. In the end, Tom was driving and coaching, I was teaching, and Sarah's tuition was covered.

Devon started college at fourteen. She graduated with two degrees (with honors) in the time she would have earned one. Eric played basketball and started working toward his degree. Everything was going along smoothly.

Quietly, four little lives changed everything. Tom and I have made some drastic decisions to cut back on time commitments in order to help. We have prayed for direction for Eric since school starts soon. It is late to be transferring.

This week, we learned that Eric has been accepted into two Christian schools--one Division II NCAA-- with athletic scholarships to both. It looks like all we have to cover are his books, if that. God took care of it, just like He promised.

Sometimes I wonder why people claim to find the Christian life boring. God has surprises around every corner. I am rarely comfortable, but always amazed at His work in my life. I can't wait to see what's next. I can only wonder.

"Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.
Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."

Psalm 27:13,14